The CBUB Character Database

ISSUE #144

Kerrigan vs. Diablo

ISSUE #107

Tom and Sylvester vs. Jerry and Tweety

ISSUE #142

Spiderman vs. Wolverine

ISSUE #138

Wonder Woman vs. She-Hulk

ISSUE #35

Chun-Li vs. Orchid vs. Sonya Blade

ISSUE #150

Matrix vs. Crouching Tiger

ISSUE #23

Jawas vs. Ewoks

ISSUE #115

Robin v. Robin v. Robin v. Robin

ISSUE #41

Smurfs vs. Snorks

ISSUE #152

Yogi & Boo-Boo vs. Chip 'n' Dale

ISSUE #99

Batman vs. Captain America

ISSUE #50

Taco Bell Chihuahua vs. Ren Hoek

ISSUE #94

Iron Man vs. Steel

ISSUE #43

Defiant vs. White Star

ISSUE #62

Thundarr vs. Conan vs. Beastmaster

ISSUE #109

Black Canary and Huntress vs. Black Widow and Silver Sable

ISSUE #153

Mum-Ra vs. Skeletor

ISSUE #127

Martial Mayhem - Round One!

ISSUE #74

The Joker vs. The Green Goblin

ISSUE #145

Planet of the Apes vs. Star Trek Away Team

ISSUE #88

Parallax vs. Dark Phoenix

ISSUE #11

The Borg vs. Aliens

ISSUE #28

Boba Fett vs. Batman

ISSUE #132

The Punisher vs. France

ISSUE #26

Catwoman vs. Bat Girl

ISSUE #129

Martial Mayhem - Round Three!

ISSUE #71

Elvira vs. Vampirella

ISSUE #90

Supergirl vs. A-ko vs. Ryoko

ISSUE #38

Lara Croft vs. Indiana Jones

ISSUE #33

Mach 5 vs. Batmobile

ISSUE #13

Wolverine vs. Predator

ISSUE #171

Batman vs. Dr. Doom

ISSUE #103

Cthulhu vs. Dr. Strange and Dr. Fate

ISSUE #51

Lex Luthor vs. Dr. Doom

ISSUE #34

Justice League vs. X-Men

ISSUE #168

Shazam vs. Black Bolt

ISSUE #19

Sailor Moon vs. Ranma 1/2

ISSUE #106

Nightwing vs. Daredevil

ISSUE #128

Martial Mayhem - Round Two!

ISSUE #82

Gambit vs. Catwoman vs. Black Cat

 

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Nameless Hero vs. The Bride

THE SCENARIO

Two of the most incredible masters of the sword. Both adept at dispatching whole armies of foes with grace and precision in order to reach thier goals.

From the movie Hero comes the Nameless patriot rebel and would be Assassin - driven by vengeance his deadly skill with the sword could only be stopped by his own conscious for no man or woman could match him.

From the movie Kill Bill comes the Nameless former assassin and would be bride and mother - driven by vengeance for the stolen life of her child her skill and cold fury destroyed all who thought to stop her.

Plucked from the timestream, the only way for "Hero" to continue his quest is through "The Bride", and likewise her quest to Kill Bill can only continue by defeating him. Join us now in a battle we had to call...

Sweet and Sour Rage

This fight suggested by Max

THE SPORTS BOX

Telephone:   *Ring!* *Ring!*

Jay:   (Picking up phone) Yeah, hi, Sports Box... this is Jay.

Jay:   ....

Jay:   Oh, Pat, we were just wondering where you were. So, what's that? You can't come in?

Jay:   ...

Jay:   Oh... so you moved houses and you have no Internet at your house and ... what's that? You can't work on the website much because your only internet connection is at work?

Jay:   ...

Jay:   Yeah, and you're wife is on you to do responsible stuff, like, put away stuff at the new house?

Jay:   ...

Jay:   Yeah, really? Yeah, well... OK. I've got it covered, here, then.

Telephone:   *Click*

Jay:   Hello and welcome, sports fans, to the Mighty Khazan Arena. I am your host Jay Peoples and we have quite a match in store for you today. It's Nameless Hero against the Bride down there in the hot sand of the Arena Fighter's Pit, today. And comming up now we have Your Thoughts on the fight today. Stay tuned for the live fight broadcast

 

YOUR OPINIONS

What YOU thought about the match:

Triptych Writes:

Nameless wins without breaking a sweat. The Bride, while good, is nowhere near his level. he speedblitzes her before she can even move.

Almost all of the main characters in Hero were able to take on armies and win. The Bride has nothing to even compare with that. Nameless dueled with Broken sword on the top of a lake (even though the scene didn't actually happen, the emperor stated that they were both capable of doing it), deflected thousands of arrows coming at him with ease (and a little help from Sky), and mastered the Death within Ten paces technique, a move which made him a real killer. The Bride dies without a second thought.

The Bride was a feared assasin in her world, but she was at least somewhat realistic. Nameless is beyond anything we can achieve in the real world. He takes care of business without so much as blinking.


Psychopathicus Rex Writes:

Ooh, boy - Martial Arts Mayhem! I'd pay good money to see THIS fight, I tell ya - and I'd come equipped with binoculars, a raincoat and an umbrella. Why? Well, the binoculars because there's no way in a million years I'd want to get within a hundred yards of those flashing blades, and the raincoat and umbrella to protect my clothes from all of the flying blood and chunky bits.

But WHOSE blood and chunky bits? Ah, well, now. My bet is on the Hero. (Er, to lose, I mean.)

Here's my reasoning. Compare the Hero with the Bride:

Hero: from ancient China. Has a background as a rebel.

The Bride: from today's modern world. Has a background as an assassin.

Hero: comes from a world where everybody, but EVERYBODY, seems to follow elaborate codes of ethics and morality.

The Bride: comes from a world where absolutely nobody has the vaguest shreds of ethics or morality.

Hero: used to using weapons like swords, polearms, and other ancient pointy things.

The Bride: used to using weapons like swords, knives, guns, chainsaws....

Hero: driven by the death of his loved ones; possesses a sense of morality that eventually gets him killed real good.

The Bride: driven by the killing of her fiancee, baby, and (almost) herself. As far as I know, she's still alive (although I haven't seen the second movie yet).

Hero: played by Jet Li. (I think.)

The Bride: played by Uma Thurman. RRRROOWWLLL!

Hero: has killed something like three people, that we've witnessed. (Maybe. Those pesky alternate interpretations...) May or may not have killed any more than that.

The Bride: has massacred dozens, if not hundreds, of people right before our eyes, in spectacular, bloody detail. Has assuredly killed more than that, as she's an ex-assassin.

Hero: does very pretty martial arts that shatter the laws of physics into umpteen billion pieces, but don't actually kill people all that often.

The Bride: does normal ninja-style martial arts that kill people without fail every single freakin' time.

So, basically, we've got...well, a Hero, with moral values up the wazoo, versus a crazy assassin who will indiscriminately slaughter anyone in her path (with, I might add, a blade that can 'cut God'). When I saw Hero, I thought 'Wow, that was pretty'. When I saw Kill Bill, I thought 'HOLY #%^*, that would hurt! Ooh! Aargh! I'm feeling vaguely nauseous...'

So, yeah. Bride wins by a mile. No question.


Ghost Writes:

Nameless takes this one, easily. Beatrix may be good, but the nameless swordsman is the stuff of legends, his art is a weapon tempered in the fires of vengence and his sword has the strenght of legions!

Seriously, what were you thinking?

To quote Pai-Mei: "Your so-called kung fu is really quite pathetic."

Call back when the Bride is on the level of cutting her way through 3000 elite warriors and effortlessly block thousands of arrows with a swing of her sword. Then we can rumble.


Jace of the Dancing Blades Writes:

Ok. Wow. How one sided can this fight actually be? Nameless Hero has got her outclassed in nearly every department. Let's start out with something, though, that she ACTUALLY has on Nameless. That is rage. I will give it to Beatrice. She can hold a grudge like no other motha...Shut your mouth! I'm just talkin about Black Mamba. We can dig it. Where as Nameless sort of tapered off in the end and died, The Bride actually Killed Bill.

Here is where the fight goes down here for her. Sheer numbers of men battled will be the first catagory that we tackle. Now, The Bride's dismantling of the Crazy 88 was impressive when taken into consideration that she walked out nearly unscathed. However, Nameless took on ARMIES. Vast legions of highly trained warriors that make the Crazy 88 look like a late 80's boy band. Moving on, we have feats. Whereas, The Bride has caught 1 or 2 hatchets from some common street trash turned gang. Nameless has deflected hundreds of arrows at the same time from highly disciplined archers. Now, pure skill. The Bride is a trained assassin, but a hero she ain't. The fights in Hero showed the combatants performing moves with fluid grace and precision. IN Kill Bill, Black Mamba's fighting technique seemed to focus more on brutality and strength than any grace. Finally, we have the IT factor. The one thing that trumps every other reason that Nameless would win. If the Bride gets within 10 paces of him, she is dead. No blocking that attack. No anticipating it. Just death. She wouldn't get close enough to use the heart stopping technique that the old man taught her. The old man would be more of a challenge than The Bride would. Case closed.


Tyramir Writes:

Okay, let's look at this for a moment. In one corner, we have the Bride, Beatrix, who took on the 88s, a bunch of nobody swordsmen wearing Kado masks. She can kill people with her five finger technique, which is just a fancy way of saying she can kill things with her hands. I have a one punch technique that can kill someone in one hit. It's called "right in the throat."

In the other, we have Hero, a guy who can knock arrows out of the air (And we're not talking one or two at a time... we're talking entire waves of arrows). A man who defeated Sky, who I might add, could probably easily defeat 88 Qin soldiers and not get a scratch (And I'm willing to bet that 88 Qin soldiers > the 88s). Not to mention, he has a technique that can kill anything within ten feet of him.

Or did people forget that?

Quite simply, the Bride is dead by the time she hits the ten foot mark. She never even gets a chance to clash swords or use the five finger technique.


NostraDouglas Writes:

By Crom! what a match of swordplay this will be. However i give it to the Hero. While the Bride is a great assasin all she did was beat an assasin cartel, Hero had the entire chinese army in fright.

Sure, the Bride beat the Crazy 88s, but I liken them to a bunch of Hand wannabes. Daredevil could have done the same.

The Bride was beaten (almost) by treachery:ie;shotgun blast. As we see in Hero, the man lives life through treachery getting within striking distance of the emperor through lies and intimidation.

Feats of strength:

Bride defeated several intimidating assasins and broke out from being buried alive.

Hero defeated the EMPEROR'S assasins and blocked and dodged an army's volley of arrows.

Final Prediction: Kill Bill better movie (but both are good), Nameless Hero with the victory (though both competators are worthy of a win)


Taltos Writes:

The Bride wins via her amazing skill with guns.

The Bride: "You any good with that shotgun?"

Karen Kim: "Not that I have to be at this range, but I'm a fucking surgeon with this shotgun."

The Bride: "Well, guess what, bitch? I'm better than Annie Oakley and I've got you right in my sights."

with standard equipment the bride gets a gun and Hero gets owned.


Cleric of Hell's Brigade Writes:

I'll put this in the simplest terms I can.

Nameless = Mid-level street level. In other words,he's below Spider-man,but above the likes of DareDevil and others.

The Bride = .....Not even a low-end street level. The likes of Batman and DareDevil (who are low street level heroes) would beat the crap out of her in *seconds*.

In conclusion,Nameless is faster,stronger,and better skilled.

The Bride gets buried. Again. For the second or third time. But who's really counting, hmmmm?

Nameless takes it 10/10.


sio_pao2001 Writes:

The hero will definitely take this one. To those saying that he lied about his feats - true, he could've fabricated most of them, but you can't deny the fact that he impressed three of China's greatest assassins, who themselves have crushed thousands in the imperial army. Enough to entrust him with their weapons and lives! Those mock battles with Snow and Sky, no ordinary warrior could've faked them so effectively in front of spectators.

And besides, Jet lie is generally a bad actor but he delivers what's needed in the movie - martial arts credibility. The lovely Uma, while effective as the KB's emotional anchor, looks awkward in some of the action scenes. Watching her hold the samurai blade like a baseball bat, she should've died by the middle of the first film.


Nine Writes:

Artistically, mythologically, and spiritually I must endorse the character of the Bride. The Name, even without viewing the movie, invokes Quentin's concept of a woman fueled by pure vengeance.

Nameless Hero...? Um, sorry. It's as inspiring as "Clear Pepsi". I don't care how many arrows you dodge, bro. Heroes aren't cannon fodder.

Beyond that. You have Uma Thurman, who has a face that would launch a thousand Aircraft Carriers. In the other corner, I'll pay 400 Turkish Lyra to anyone that can tell me his face could, with 400 Turkish Lyra worth of plastic surgery, launch a minature canoe! Let's face it, the Bride was totally hot.

So my vote goes with the Bride. She suffered more physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally than the N.W. did. Forget the special effects, ya poseurs! Focus on the emotions!

THE BATTLE

 

Jay:   And we're back. The crowd cheers! The mighty, steel Pit gates rumble open! From the West gate we have The Bride... dressed in striped jumpsuit. And from the East gate we have Nameless Da Hero... dressed in one of those sword fighter robe deals.

Jay:   ...

Jay:   And there's the bell! Nameless Hero and The Bride close... walking towards each other from across the Arena Fighters Pit. Let's go live down on the field now to our sideline commentator Braveheart.

Braveheart:   FREEEEEEEDOOOOM!!!!!

Jay:   Right. An interesting fact about the match today, folks, is that we've had our two contenders impregnated by Aliens. Yes, that's right, at any moment one of those Aliens could pop right out of the chest of one of our contenders here today.

Jay:   ...

Jay:   The two have reached the center of the Arena Pit. They're spitting distance apart. They begin to slowly circle ....

Jay:   ...

Jay:   The Bride lunges first! And Hero...

Jay:   .. but, ...

Jay:   ... and with the...

Jay:   OH MY GOD!

Jay:   ... and the...

Jay:   Holy!

Jay:   POP!!! Alien chest burster...!

Jay:   ... and... Wow! This fight is over folks!

Jay:   Amazing! It all happened so fast. Lets roll the tape of that fight back in slow motion.

Jay:   And here is the Bride lunging at Hero... it's more a feint, really... feeling him out.

Jay:   ... a feint which Hero flicks aside easily... and it's Hero's turn to strikes back now... DENIED! Strike blocked by the Bride! These two are just testing.

Jay:   And here's the part where it gets crazy. Hero goes for the Death-in-Ten-Steps(TM) move at the exact moment the Bride begins her special Five-Fingers-of-Death(TM) move.

Jay:   We have to really slow down the film, here.

Jay:   The Bride seems to have the slight speed initiative... you can see here that Hero is still in transition between his test strike and the actual Death-in-Ten-Steps(TM) move.

Jay:   ...

Jay:   Yes, and there the Bride lands the first strike of the Five-Finger-Death... just a split microsecond before Hero impales the Bride on his sword...

Jay:   BUT, the Bride's first stike seems to have put Hero off his game! She lives when she should not have! A second after being run through, the Bride's body on Autopilot, she continues and finishes the Five-Finger-Death!

Jay:   Hero - amazed and surprised - jerks his sword, further impaling the Bride... and the Bride has sustained too much Trauma. She slumps... the loser in today's match...

Jay:   ... But the Hero's sword attack on the Bride has alerted the Alien within that the host body is not long for this world...

Jay:   POP! The alien bursts forth from the chest of the defeated Bride... flying straight out and sinking it's teeth into Hero's neck!

Jay:   ... Hero... stumbles back...

Jay:   One step... two steps... three steps... four...

 

THE FINAL VOTE

 

'Nuff Said!

FINAL VOTE:

The Bride: 721

Nameless Hero: 999

 

THE WRAP UP

 

Jay:   Five steps and Hero falls... a victim of the Five Finger Death and the gnashing jaws of a newborn Alien! Join us next week for another installment of CBUB.

Jay:   Thanks and Goodnight.

[The Comic Book Universe Battles]

 


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