Tecnophiles are always interested in getting the latest gadget or knowing about the latest gizmo. So it is that when Ultron and Brainiac learn of each others existance, they each want the other lying on an examining table so they can poke around and see what's inside.
Ultron: A creation of scientist Henry Pym (the original Ant-Man), Ultron was suppossed to be nice but decided it was much more fun to be bad. Since going rogue Ultron has become one of the Avengers most merciless foes. He has a habit of being destroyed repeatedly only to come back for more lovin' later.
Brainiac: A product of an alien self aware computer culture, Brainiac roams the spaceways looking for ways to make entire planets unhappy. He has caused grief to the most powerful of Heroes and, though he is occassionally blown up and has to change his physical form, he remains a menace.
This promises to be a stellar fight as we go LIVE to planet Earth to follow the battle. They'll be plans, distractions and confrontation as these two sentient robots square off. Which one walks away and which one becomes spare parts? You be the judge. Join us now in a battle we had to call...
THE SPORTS BOX
Pat: Well Jay, so far this battle hasn't been all that exciting.
Jay: You said it, Pat. So much for my ideas...
Pat: Yeah, apparently things like chess, Risk, and Stratego are "beneath their mighty intellects" and "the foul ideas of humans", so neither of them went for it. For those of you just joining us at home, we are LIVE at planet Earth, in a 'battle' between these two paragons of mental power... or at least we would be, if they'd actually fight. I'm Pat Summers...
Jay: And I'm Jay Peoples. Ultron of course, would like to bring the fight to melee right away, but Brainiac wants to fight on purely academic terms. At least we got them to both put in a prediction for next week's battle.
Pat: Yeah, too bad they both picked the same guy.
Jay: And to think how that fight actually turned out...
Hmm...this was a tough one. In terms of personal preference, it's Ultron all the way, but in this match, I gotta go with the green guy. Here's my reasoning:
Ultron may be a scientific genius, but he's not subtle, and he's not actually particularly smart, when you get right down to it. I mean, he comes up with all these grand schemes, and they're undone by some of the tiniest, most basic little things. For instance, he led the Masters of Evil as the Crimson Cowl, then reveals himself as a robot BEFORE they've beaten the Avengers, and he's surprised that they get freaked out? If he'd just waited until they'd won, THEN revealed himself...well, as least they'd have won. But nooooo!
Plus, he keeps creating robots that turn against him. Vision? Became a superhero. Jocasta? Became a mascot to the Avengers. Alchema? Was a sadistic freak that betrayed him TWICE, and each time he had the gall to act surprised. Ultron Mark 12? Turned into a good guy! He's got to have some sort of self-defeating instinct buried inside him.
In addition, there's the subtlety thing that I brought up earlier. When Ultron confronts a foe or a rival, his immediate instinct is to blast them to pieces, or try to control their mind. Neither of which will work here, since he wants his foe to be intact so he can pick through his guts, and Brainiac is a computer - he doesn't have a mind, or at least not an organic one.
Now then, how about Brainiac? Instead of being a lab accident gone wrong, he was created as a sort of super-spy by a race of alien computers, and eventually evolved into an interstellar conquerer. As we seem to be going with the Silver Age version here, he possesses sophisticated enough weaponry to shrink whole cities and preserve them in bottles, not to mention travel in time and whatnot. And he is pure intellect, where Ultron is nothing but irration megalomaniacal rage. Additionally, he will eventually evolve into a computer program sophisticated enough to advance the technology of Metropolis forward several hundred years, and almost kill Superman in the process.
So, basically, we have a mechanical mass-murderer versus a calculating computer conquerer. (Cool as a cucumber, too. Alright, alright, I'll stop.) But in this battle, it's subtlety that counts, a quality that Brainiac possesses in spades. It's not the killer instinct that matters here, it's the ability to outwit and then capture alive. (Well, alright, alive as any machine can be, but you know what I mean.) And capturing alive is Brainiac's SPECIALTY. He's done it hundreds of times; I mean, he's a SUPERMAN villain, for Thoth's sake. Capturing alive is what they DO. Brainiac will gut Ultron like a fish, then reprogram him as his houseboy and order him to clean out the pool. Eww - Ultron covered in pool-slime. Now that's a scary thought.
Why was he even on the team? He was just a less dressed version of Lex Luthor with some buttons pasted to his head. Isn't their evil genius position filled? Buy a laptop, Legion of Doom. Don't dress up a computer in knee socks, bloomers, and a golf shirt. Plus, Brainiac is what stupid children call smart kids when they don't have more distinguishing flaws like smelling like pee or eating things they find in their nose. Even with that wuss Toyman on your team, you're really demeaning yourself now.
The JLA were always hiring unqualified people. Hawkman, Hawkgirl, and Robin were all just crappier versions of superheroes that already worked for them. But they're good guys. You can understand them hiring their cousin superheroes as favors or letting people in for public relations. The Legion of Doom shouldn't care about shit like that. It seems weird they're spending their mornings enslaving and murdering innocent people and then coming home to make sure all their idiot friends have jobs.
If there's one thing we should have learned by now, it's that robots are only walking encyclopedias. You can teach them to serve drinks or do your homework, and they'll have sex with you for a can of oil and a bottle of turtle wax, but they'll never beat you in a fight. All it takes is a hug and they explode. Their computer brains can never truly understand that it's our feelings that make us special. What good are all the deadly super devices in the world if you can't understand the joy of a puppy's unconditional love, Brainiac?
He figured out a robot will never win against us irrational justice-fighting humans, but a maybe... a bigger robot will! I wonder if his head-shaped space ship is filled with the same shit his regular head is.
Only Brainiac would bring along a 200 pound satellite scrambler to keep people from seeing him while he's standing behind a big rock.
So,Ultron would win.
Braniac is simply a much higher powered character not to mention a lot smarter.
Ultron is fairly tough due to his adamantium body, but he always has tons of design flaws. Simple things like vibrations directed towards his internal components can take him down.
In "Ulton Unlimited" Iron Man Jury rigged a cannon that was able to blow a small army of "Ultrons" into pieces (even if they were made from 'secondary' adamantium or whatever). If he can come up with a way to beat an army of Ultrons so 'easily' Brainiac is going to be able to.
Sir Exal Writes:
Oh, please. Ultron is a robot, and last I knew, Brainiac could inhabit whatever cybertronics he wanted to (Including the Watchtower!).
To quote Brainiac in his Static Shock appearence,
"I am Brainia-Bra-Bra-Brainiac and I will lay the funk down..."
Ultron does everything Brainiac does. He does it with his "inferior" earth technology. He does it with every bit as much, if not more cunning and guile(When was the last time Brainiac and his supposedly superior intellect drove a Justice Leaguer insane?), AND when it's time to kick the tires and light the fires, he can stand toe to toe with anybody.
You think it's a sign of superior intelleigance that Brainiac doesn't go toe to toe. Bull.
Brainiac doesn't do it cuz he CANT do it. Ultron can be as cunning, or as bullheaded as he damn well wants to be.
His only weakness is his tendancy to make his own personal traitors. A big flaw yes, but since this is a one on one showdown, it doesn't really enter into the equation here.
Dark Queen Writes:
I don't have any stats on this fight, but I vote that if Brainiac wins then he should be awarded a decent pair of pants.
[DELETE] NostraDouglas Writes:
Not much to say about this one... Ultron is usually made out of adamantium so he's pretty tough, although taking over computers is what Braniac does. By absorbing computers/machinery Braniac becomes powerful. Ultron is acomputer/machinery.
It's like using a Brawny(tm) paper towel to soak up an ocean. It doesn't matter how tough Brawny(tm) is, it can't soak up a ocean.
ps- why did you use such a horrible SuperFriends picture of Braniac?
pps-Hank Pym haters, leave the guy alone, c'mon, he bagged a girl half his age, even if he has to keep her in line every once in a while
ppps-I do not agree with wife beating (unless she's talking during the football game)(that's a joke)
Evil Eddie Writes:
Ah yes, another very cool fight! A true "war of machines" if you will...you guys sure know how to pick em'! This is one of those battles that made me scratch my head and think a little bit. Two very tough, super-intelligent, super computers, that can rebuild themselves over and over again; each version deadlier than the last. Neither one of these guys seems to truly be able to be destroyed and both can hold their own with the toughest teams that Marvel and DC has to offer...
I think a major determining factor in this battle is in exactly what version of the combatants we're using...there's twelve different Ultron's and four Brainiac's (that I can think of; probably more I'm sure!) The picture you use of Brainiac (yeah, the dorky one with no pants) is Pre-Crisis Brainiac but the picture at the bottom (the cool looking one) is Post-Crisis Brainiac--BIG DIFFERENCE! I just wish you guys had used a picture of Brainiac 2.5 or Brainiac 13 instead of the old Superfriends version but anyway...
It goes like this...the only thing Ultron has on Brainiac is that he looks cooler and that's about it. Sorry, but you might as well had Brainiac fight H.E.R.B.I.E. the robot (remember him F.F. fans?) Ultron has the toughness and firepower but c'mon, Brainiac's got the brains!!!(Hence the name,BRAINiac). Not to mention telepathic/psychokinetic abilities that enable him to bend lesser beings to his will. Brainiac's consciousness can link with virtually any computer system and pervert it's data to his evil needs! He could just possess Ultron's body and use him to upgrade to a more powerful version of himself.
I believe that if he can inhibit the body of Doomsday (and he did), he could inhibit Ultron. He's a vast, superior intelligence that's limited to only by the technology he currently inhabits and his knowledge of the universe is unparalleled. His knowledge of other alien civilazations and weaponry is more than Ultron could hope to deal with. I mean, it took Superman, the JLA, and other heroes to stop him from invading and destroying the earth in the "Panic in the Sky" storyline.
Anything Ultron throws at Brainiac, I think Brainiac could counter; he's not going to see anything new in Ultron that he's not seen a thousand times over. Yeah, Ultron's got concussion blasters, tractor beams, and an encephalo beam, but that beam only works on lesser willed beings; and Brainiac most definately is not a lesser willed being.
Brainiac downloaded his evil alien psyche into a flawless android shell and that version is Brainiac 2.5! And if Brainiac is fighting Ultron 5, then that Ultron is vulnerable at the pair of electrodes at either side of his skull. Brainiac would know this and would attack that area and would just short out Ultron's robot brain. Also, Brainiac's cyber-tentacles connect him to Warworld's control systems and enable him to transmit hyber-intense PSI-blasts. One of these babies, and Ultron's down for the count!!!
It all comes down to that old say...how does it go?! Ah yes, *MIND OVER MATTER* I see Brainiac using Ultron's head as an electric can opener and using those thingies on his head to pick up his favorite radio station. Nuff' said!!
Han Solo's clone Writes:
Get this. The only apearance of Ultron in a comic that I ever saw was one where an unknown being had caused him to act like an intoxicated lowlife from some old movie. I never found out who did that to him because the folowing issues in the miniseries that it happened in revealed that story to be so messed up and stupid that I didn't want to encourage those paticular writers with any more of my money for a while. Thats one more comic book apearance than I saw Brainiac in, though.
In a face to face fight, I have to give this one over to Ultron. It is a rare example of superior force winning out over superior intellect.
Brainiac is unquestionably smarter than Ultron. Ultron has never shown any indication of having the vast, superhuman brainpower of Brainiac. However, it isn't like this battle is taking place as the result of a carefully crafted scheme, with Brainiac pulling all the strings. It is on an even footing; Brainiac's main advantage - the sheer scope of his intellect - is partially negated.
Ultron is a killing machine housed inside an adamantum shell. He is capable of taking on an entire team of Avengers, as he has demonstrated on multiple occassions. Brainiac, by contrast, has a relatively flimsy flesh-and-blood body, but vast psionic powers. Ultron is a computer. Brainiac will not be able to use telepathic attacks on Ultron; he might be able to use his cybernetics to invade Ultron's mind, but only if he can gain access. Ultron is psychotic, but not stupid: he isn't going to leave an open, wireless network connection for Brainiac to hack. Brainiac would be turned into a charred stain on the wall if he even tried to physically wire-up to Ultron.
Brainiac cannot physically challenge Ultron - no way, no how. His considerable psionic might is useless against Ultron's AI, unless Ultron makes an incredibly stupid mistake and allows Brainiac wireless network access - also, no way, no how. Ultron will walk his man down and vaporze him.
The only caveat I would add to this is if, somehow, Brainiac can come up with a plan to negate Ultron's overwhelming firepower and near-invulnerability to harm, then Brainiac will defeat Ultron permanently. There will be no broadcasting of Ultron's AI into another body; it would never get past Brainiac's cybernetically enhanced psionics.
Kool-aid Spaceship Writes:
Because of the big uproar...I have decided to make my vote based only on appearance alone. So, I have to vote for Ultron just for the simple fact that Ultron has style. I mean, just look at Ultron he cares about his appearance ya know.....nice polished metal exterior ....Obvously works out....I mean come on, Ultron is a robot you would take home to ma-ma. Brainiac rolls his green skin covered butt out of bed, probably shaves his legs, tucks his long sleeve purple shirt into his underwear, or throws on some black tights to match his purple cape. Brainiac dresses like Cousin Eddie from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Mark my words....in two years....Ultron will make the cover of Rolling Stone's 100 sexist Evil Robots.
This has got to be one of the closer battles we have seen in a while. Both are super geniuses. Both have fought groups of the most powerful beings on Earth. Both have been in catastrophic storylines. Yet in the Secret Wars Ultron was being used as a shiny little puppet while in the Crisis, Ultron was pulling some major strings with villains assualt. Until the Spectre got pissed of course. I guess one would just have to chock the whole thing up to who has the most experience. That is obviously Brainiac. I just have tp ask myself, "Why? Why? Why does have he have to wear those stupid little hotpants?"
Ah, a battle between two super geniuses. While this could potentially turn into one giant chess match, which Brainiac would inevitably win, it will, in face, turn into a battle of wills.
And sorry, but in a battle of wills, Ultron wins. Why?
Because he has self-respect. You can tell by the way he looks. He respects his own appearance, and makes sure other villains take him seriously while attempting to inspire terror in the hearts of his enemies, the good guys. Brainiac, on the other hand, in all of his incarnations, has more queer in him than a Legolas/Harry Potter fanfiction.
Brainiac does not respect himself, and as such, has no self confidence in his abilities. So like Thanos a la Infinity Gauntlet, just as he thinks he has victory, he will eventually subconciously sabotage himself because in reality, he really wants to lose.
If Brainiac's lucky, he'll later make a guest appearance in a Deadpool comic, who could probably taunt him far better than I ever could.
The Chosen Writes:
Ok, so braniac is cool and whatnot, but he was defeated by the superfriends. C'mon. A handicapped child with a two-by-four should be able to defeat them. Also a pink sweater with white underpants? That is so 1960. Brainiac, wath Queer Eye this tuesday. You need the fasion tips. Ultron has the sensible sleek adamantium. My Vote: Ultron
Ultron. He's made of Adamantium. He's killed whole countries. Not only whole countries, but contries belonging to the best ruthless ruler ever, Dr. Victor von Doom himself. He kicks the Avenger's asses regularly. Not just one or two of them, the whole team. When's the last time Brainiac fought the entire Justice League? Plus, Ultron is a family man.
Pat: Hey, looks like we'll finally see some action! Ultron's patience has run out, and he's charging blindly at Brainiac!
Jay: Why didn't he just do that in the first place...
Brainiac: Because he knew if he did, he'd fall into my TRAP!
Pat: That's a lot of wires, Jay.
Jay: If my guess is correct Pat, I'd say Brainiac's trying to use those wires to hack in and take over Ultron directly.
Ultron: Because he knows what would happen if he tried to possess me directly...
Pat: Ultron sure is tearing those wires apart... so, apparently he knew that Brainiac knew that he knew...
Jay: Try not to think about it too much, Pat.
Pat: ... you know, I'm starting to miss mindless violence...
Jay: Err, anyways, he's through that trap and headed toward Brainiac again... err, Brainiacs?
Pat: There's two of them! And they're both holding some kind of device...
Brainiac: Hold it right there, Ultron. The device in my hand could easily destroy you, but I've decided to give you one chance to prove your greater intellect. If you can determine which one of me is real, then you can stop me before I activate the device. If not, however...
Pat: Just push the button! DESTROY HIM ALREADY!
Jay: Destroying him wouldn't prove anything, Pat. He could just rebuild himself again, and we'd be right back where we started.
Pat: But.. but... now we have to stand here and wait while Ultron tries to figure out which is the real one...
Jay: Doesn't look like we'll have to wait long, Pat. Ultron's building yet ANOTHER version of himself, so that he can fire at both Brainiacs simultaneously. It's almost too simple...
Pat: Which is exactly why Brainiac should just destroy him! He's just standing there with a dumb smirk on his face and--
Jay: Wait... that's it! He must be--
Pat: Hold on! Ultron's finished already! Great, now we'll see some action. Somebody die, NOW!
THE FINAL VOTE
THE WRAP UP
Pat: ... YES! Brainiac is down!
Jay: With quite the look on his face too, Pat. I think he was expecting to utterly humiliate Ultron and have his own creation turn on him...
Pat: ... which it just did! They've started going at it! This could be a fight after all!
Jay: Yes, but Brainiac's already retreated in humiliation and pain. Looks like Ultron... well, one of them... is the winner today.
Pat: Yeah, yeah, I'm Pat Summers, you're Jay Peoples... LOOK AT THAT HE JUST RIPPED OFF HIS ARM! AWESOME!