JAY: Pat look! The Ewoks are getting ready to lay an ambush on
the Jawas' Crawler. Looks like they're using all of their knowledge from
trashing the Empire's Walkers years ago.
PAT: Yes, it's true, Jay. However... the Jawa's "Forest
Crawler"(TM) is not really a combat vehicle... even though it's large.
This could be bad for the Jawas.
JAY: I can see several groups of Ewoks gathering up in the trees
waiting to jump on with vines when the Crawler passes under them. The
fight is about to start!
PAT: And there they go folks! The advance Ewok vine-team is
swinging onto the crawler while an elite Ewok strike-force tries to take
out the treads.
JAY: The Jawas don't seemed to notice that they're being boarded!
PAT: No... I'm sure they've noticed. They got them freaky glowin'
eyes, for cryin' out loud! I believe they are unconcerned, Jay! I mean...
what can a bunch o' furry primates with.... OH MY GOD!
JAY: Furry primates with battering rams the size of a redwood trees!
There must be a hundred of those fury critters pushing 'em forward, aimed
directly for the front treads.
PAT: Ooof! That's gotta hurt! Well... The "Forest Crawler"(TM)
has moved it's last inch for awhile. Glowy-eyed Jawas are pulling blasters
and shooting blind into the forest!
JAY: I can hear the Ewoks battle horns sounding throughout the
forest, a full scale assault is imminent. The Jawas' are going to be up to
their glowing eyeballs with angry teddy bears very soon.
PAT: The Jawas are bringing the few heavy blasters on the "Forest
Crawler"(TM) into play! I smell burnt Ewok, Jay.
JAY: Yes Pat, the Jawas' may have all the toys but the Ewoks got
the numbers. Hundreds of of 'em are charging the Crawler with ladders or
swinging onto it with vines.
PAT: Folks... the carnage here is spectacular! Now let's get an
up close view with our own SideLine Commentator Frank Williams...
No, you can't be serious. Teddy bears? Pssh! Only reason they
beat the Empire in that ONE battle was because they had human help. Now,
they're on their own with Jawas, baby! You don't mess with little guys with
glowing eyes! They look like little Grim Reapers, you know. That has to count
for something! And blasters are an added bonus. Back to you!
PAT: Thanks Frank. What do you have now, Jay?
JAY: The Ewoks are laying a furious siege to the Crawler. About
two-thirds of the Ewoks are trying to board the Crawler while the rest
covers them with bows and arrows. The Ewoks are outgunned but they have
accuracy through volume.
PAT: Some serious hand to hand fighting is now taking place as the
Jawas retreat to find some defensible position within the huge "Forest
Crawler"(TM). Jay, there's bloody brown robes littering the ground.
JAY: It's like watching invading soldiers trying to storm a castle. The Jawas' are barely holding on even though they're inflicting heavy casualties on the Ewoks.
PAT: The Jawas have managed to hole-up in a defensible position...
It's last stand time as... wait... we have a connection now with our own
Jack Gibson who has this special report...
Thanks Pat, I'm standing here at the base of a tree watching the onslaught with my camera guy. Its maddening! The Jawa's Forest Crawler looks like a porcupine and the Ewoks look like army ants on the move. I don't think the Jawa's can
take the Ewoks down fast enough, but on the other hand I don't think the Ewoks can continue with these kinds of losses. This fight can go either way. Back to you Pat. Hey, where did you
come from? Hey! Get off my leg you little fur ball!!! OFF I mean it!!
PAT: Thanks Jack. What's going on now, Jay?
JAY: The entire situation is pure havoc. The Ewoks have beaten
the Jawas' back inside the massive Crawler but the Jawas' are just managing
to keep them out... Wait, I see Ewoks gathering around a cargo door at the
rear of the Crawler!
PAT: But the Jawas have a desperate plan! Opening the cargo
door... they are sending out all their stupid salvaged droids to fight!
R2's, RU's, C3's, IG's!!
JAY: Great, Pat... Reject droids a few mega-bites short of a full load. The Ewoks don't look too afraid since they faced down Imperial Walkers... they're attacking
them by jabbing their spears into their leg joints!
PAT: Ho-Ho! But what the Ewoks didn't know was that the Jawas
rigged all the droids with thermite detonators! WHOOOM! Ewok Barbecue!
JAY: That was devastating to watch but it was not enough to
totally stop the remaining Ewoks. The survivors are looking mighty pissed
Pat and they're charging back at that open cargo door again...
PAT: Oh the carnage! The Carnage!
JAY: The Ewoks are savagely storming the Crawler, just stabbing,
clubbing every unfortunate Jawas' that gets into their path.
PAT: Oh, those poor brown robes... I Can't watch!