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G4hardcore

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    Rumble 13108 Tony The Tiger and Lucky the Leprechaun and Energizer Bunny vs. Jolly Green Giant and Mayhem (Allstate) and Kool-Aid Man

    in CBUB Unrated Rumbles

    Posted

    The bodies were everywhere. Strung about the ground like they had fallen from the sky… blood and sweat were the odors of choice that night, and they filled Tony’s feline nose. It was dark now, but his tiger’s eye had no problem seeing; for beings of the night, the battlefield appeared illuminated in an otherworldly light. “This… is not great,†Tony sighed. His voice was raspy and ragged, one of the taxes of war.

    Lucky could only nod. His lesser eyes scanned the grassy field. Countless mascots had died, true martyrs for their cause. To him, they were friends and family. He ripped off the remains of his wee green jacket and tossed the tatters aside. “No more blood,†Lucky moaned.

    As usual, the Energizer Bunny was close behind. However, for the moment, he refrained from beating his drums proudly. No, with sagging ears and slow steps, he could only follow close behind in respectful silence. “I thought we could keep going and going. I thought with you, Lucky, the battle was won—â€

    “I’m just one damned leprechaun!†Lucky shouted uncharacteristically, thick accent apparent. Immediately after, hot tears poured down his face. Tony came to his side, putting a striped hand on his back reassuringly. “It’ll be okay, little guy. Look around… it’s over now.â€

    A hand grabbed Lucky’s ankle in a firm grasp. Instinctually, the leprechaun raised his fist; it let off a glow, the yellowish color of a shooting star. Its light revealed the owner of the hand to be Toucan Sam. Lucky dropped to his knees and held the back of the birds head off the blood-soaked ground. He was missing so many feathers, he would never fly again. The avian soldier coughed once, then twice before he could manage any words. “L-Lucky. We t-told you… that we would *cough cough* f-follow you… to the bitter end… to the…*cough*†A sickening trail of blood poured from Sam’s beak, before he could speak no longer. Tony and Energizer’s heads were held low as the breakfast bird’s heart gave its last beat.

    “No,†Lucky wept. “No, not you too… Oh, no, no, no!â€

    “OH YEAAAH!â€

    The ground shook and swelled like an explosion had gone off underground. A mound rose higher and higher until it was almost 30 feet high, and just as many feet away from the trio. In the next moment, the mound exploded outwards, casting red-tinted dirt and chunks of grass all about. Kneeling before them, was the Jolly Green Giant, 55 feet tall with skin as green as emerald. On his shoulder, stood a deceptively large container of red liquid; the Kool-Aid Man. A black smirk, smug and dark, was painted on his face. And in the giant’s hand, was Mayhem. The insurance man was smiling too, arms crossed and suit pristine.

    Lucky cursed himself; he’d said the two mystical words that could summon the Kool-Aid Man from practically anywhere, like an amateur.

    Tony roared, “Is this what you wanted?!†At his sides, his fists were clenched tight. “Look around, Mayhem!â€

    Mayhem jumped from the giant’s hand, landing deftly. He brushed unseen dust off his shoulder and smiled wider. “Yes. It is. You people… you think you can go gallivanting about without insurance… but this war? It’s proven to you—to everyone—that everybody, everywhere, needs what I can provide.â€

    “You’re nothing but a war profiteer.†Lucky spat, resting Sam’s limp head on the dirt and standing. “You engineered this war to prove a stupid point, and you’ve monopolized insurance by assassinating Flo and the Cavemen and—â€

    “You can’t prove that was me,†Mayhem replied curtly, eyeing his fingernails. “I’m only trying to help. I provide a valuable service for the people. A growth-stunted fool like you couldn’t understand…†He looked down at Sam’s body. “You know lucky, Sam was an uncle. It’s too bad he wasn’t covered… his nephews will only suffer for it.â€

    Something snapped in Lucky’s brain, like an exploding neuron. “I’ll make you pay for using his name. I’ll rip your heart out and drop you from the stars! I’ll use your spine as a horseshoe, and leave you in a shallow grave of clovers! I swear by the moon, I’ll cram a pot of fool’s gold down your gullet—you’ll never live to see another rainbow!! And when I finish with you, your head will pop… Like. A. Balloon.â€

    “Cute.†He replied in an undertone, before rolling up his sleeves. "After we're through with you, you're gonna wish you were covered."

    Heroes of Disney vs marvel evils

    in CBUB Unrated Rumbles

    Posted

    Enhancements for example: Kim possible would get an agility enhancement making her move extremely fast to be able to keep up as well as beast would get a strength enhancement which would put him on par with an angered hulk

    What about everyone else? Does Stitch get more arms? Does Peter Pan fly at supersonic speeds? Will Simba have longer canines? Even with all those things, they still lack the experience and control that would give their betters a slight advantage.

    Octagon triple threat

    in CBUB Unrated Rumbles

    Posted

    A 9x19mm parabellum round moves at between 1200 and 1300 f/sec.

    If fired from a weapon 30 feet away, this gives our heroes 25 milliseconds to dodge.

    Mean reflex time for a young adult athlete to respond to visual stimulus is 190 milliseconds.

    To actually dodge a bullet would require reflexes at least 7.6 times better than an athlete's. This is outside the range of human variation and would require something better than a non-enhanced human nervous system.

     

    Then again, I'm probably overthinking this. xunsure.png.pagespeed.ic.4azkk_5zmI.png

    Daredevil takes this. He's been stated to have no superhuman attributes aside from his sensory abilities, and yet he moves fast enough to dodge bullets. The only reasonable explanation I can think of at the moment for this is that he isn't actually dodging the bullets while their traveling. It's more likely that he dodges aim, or moves away from the path of a cocking gun.

    Voldemort vs Loki

    in CBUB Unrated Rumbles

    Posted

    I don't know, the citizens of Germany held no threat to him what so ever and he felt the need to make them cower.

    That was part of his pla--

    He wasn't doing it to lord over them. He was passing the time, waiting for SHIELD to catch up to him, as part of his plan.

    That.

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