CanisMax

This one's for Treach who suggested it months ago. Sorry it took so long.

Let's see how that works out when the dinos get lasers and mount a counter-attack.

Well, I brought my DINOSAUR WHO EATS FORCEFIELD DOGS!

Am I the only one who finds it odd that I just did a match that pitted characters from these two series against each other? ... Naw... that's just coincidence.

A flame war is rarely funny unless you're involved, and this one is not one I'm interested in.

I dare you. I friggin' dare you to try.

If there's two things in the video game universe that have been argued to high heaven, they are the best game ever and the worst game ever. In today's GIRE, I'll reveal what I think is the worst game ever. Hold on to your hat, because here it comes: Never heard of this thing? You're not missing much. As I've said before there's much debate about the worst game ever. To me there's a difference between the 'worst' and the 'most unplayable'. The worst game ever needs to be playable, and The Black Bass is certainly playable... if you have about six free hours. The game brings the exciting [sarcasm] world of competitive sport fishing to the NES. This game is slow. Really slow. And I don't mean it lags, I mean it takes forever for anything to happen. The entire game consists entirely of moving from spot to spot on various lakes, casting, reeling in, and occasionally landing a fish. In fact, the game pretty much covers everything that goes on in actual bass fishing... minus any of the fun. I like bass fishing. It's relaxing and there's no feeling like reeling in some freaking monster fish. This game takes all the elements of bass fishing and removes any of the interraction. There's no sun, no water, no boat, nothing. Anybody could pick this game up and play it, but nobody should. There's a good reason why you probably haven't heard of this game; it's the most forgetable game ever. You spend forever playing it for virtually no payoff whatsoever. The graphics are ok, I guess. The music is generic for the NES era. There's simply nothing to see here. But don't worry, folks. My next review is coming soon. I'll be checking out a Genesis game that could be the weirdest game ever made. Stay tuned.

Huh. I wonder how that happened. *whistles innocently*.

Actually the screams on the FPL board used to bug me too. Now I can't fall asleep without their woeful moans falling upon my ears. Go figure.Anyway, this was cool, Marv. Now if only you guys could convince people to submit characters they actually intend to use, then you wouldn't have a problem.

Oh, sorry. You're DVD player was smas- er, I mean, it broke.

Well... I've pretty much nixed all of my ideas that I said. So, here's the ones that I actually am working on. Bad Bob: Yes, the man, the myth, the legend. The guy who didn't get more than three sentences in CEIF Man's story is being brought back from the dead, revived, revamped, and rebuilt to exact his revenge. [The background is finished, but the rest, including power choices, is still in the works.] Tom: A week or two ago I posted a character named Dewey Robertson to the CA board. Frankly, it wasn't awful, but it wasn't great. Those of you who read it should know that it had a character named Tom in it. Well, I decided he would make a much more interesting character. [Powers selected, but the background is only halfway done. Still working out the kinks.] Super Cyborg EMT Squad: This is something which I've wanted to do for a while, but it's still totally stuck on the drawing board. I have ideas concerning it, but they're only getting me so far right now. [i haven't even started this one. I'm hoping working on the other two will help me clear the writer's block I have for this.]

Okay then... *ignores the flame war* What can I say that hasn't already been said? This match is great; a perfect blend of humor and action. Elmo takes it. Now, I don't want to assume you were trying to piss off you-know-who... but you had to have seen this coming.

"And now for something completely different" As we near the end of the first month of the new decade, I would like to rant about something. By this time, most video-game magazines, websites, etc. have put out their various best/worst lists. One game that has come to my attention is Metroid: Other M. Now whether you hate this game or love it, I don't care. Honestly, I haven't played it. What bothers me is... well to quote GameSpy.com... Now why did this bother me? The "hasn't been completely over-sexualized" part. This is the opinion of most gaming article writers (namely X-Play). It seems to me that they've been hung up on the Metroid Prime series. Why do I say this? Because the Prime series was the only sub-series that didn't let Samus show off. Even the NES game, with its primitive 8-bit graphics did its best to exploit the fact that Samus is a chick, and a hot one at that. The sex-appeal of Samus has been being milked since day one, Nintendo just used to make it harder to access. Besides, I'm rather enjoying the ease of access at this point. Moving on, today I was in the car, minding my own business. The news is playing on the radio, the broadcaster is in the middle of a sentence... BAM a commercial interrupts him. I'm sitting there thinking, "Are you kidding me?" Anyways, feel free to post your own irritations. This is IRRITATION THURSDAY!!

Sure, but look at it this way: Cody's a good six and a half feet tall and enormously strong. Sonic is just under four feet. He's also very scrawny. One good hit, and Sonic goes down.

Panzer IV. Shoot that.

I'm going to try something new. I'm going to start reviewing video games, but not necessarily new ones. You see, I'm the kind of person who loves 'retro' games. Don't get me wrong, I love the newer games, but you can't beat the classics. There's the ones we all know, sure, Super Mario Bros., Street Fighter II, Doom, Tetris, the list goes on and on. The point is, I'm going to look at ones that you may or may not have heard of. That having been said, here is today's Game In Review: Virgin Group Ltd. has dabbled in just about everything imaginable. Cell Phones, Comic Books, heck, even hot air balloon flights. Back in the nineties, they released the video game, Robocop Vs. The Terminator. Now, cross-overs are a big business, Alien vs. Predator, Godzilla vs. King Kong, Freddy vs. Jason, etc. So you'd think that this would be just as big. Maybe I just wasn't around at the time when this thing came out, but a few quick web searches have turned up little. While it seems to be somewhat popular among the two titular characters respective fanbases, there's not much to be heard about this game. So when I picked it up at a Salvation Army, I figured four dollars wasn't going to be that bad of an investment even if the game sucked. So did it suck? Happily, I can say "No, the game did not suck." Granted, I have definitely played better, but overall, it's not horrible. Graphically, this game is pretty decent. I love the Genesis, with its sixteen bit graphics, but this game is about average fare. The game is difficult, but not to the point of being rip-your-hair-out-of-your-head difficult. The controls are a little bit slippery, but the game is far from unplayable. The music is nothing special. The story in essence is, from what I gather, something along the lines of, "Terminators go back in time to take of the world so Robocop decides to fight back." There may be a bit more to it than that, but the game implements basically none of it, especially since most of the time you seem to be shooting a bunch of average thugs (although, if you put in a code, they become leather-clad and rather buxom thugs). What I really enjoy about this game is that it's violent. While it's not as violent as Mortal Kombat, which was released a year before Robocop vs. Terminator, it's still got a bloody edginess to it. I couldn't help but giggle like a schoolgirl the first time I saw one of the bad guys explode into a fountain of blood. Fun? Check. Violence? Check. Scantily clad baddies? Check. The game will never be a classic, but if you happen to have a Genesis and find it at a deal like the one I got, then go for it. I give this game 7/10.

This discussion makes me sad.

Me... want... stuff...

Big Freaking Gun > Tiny Fencing Sword

I made this match with the hope that it make people have to think before they voted. It seems to have worked.

Cool setup. Sonic's fast, but he has one flaw that I can see: his fighting technique is designed primarily to fight stationary opponents, preferably big ones. Suffice to say, I don't know exactly how well he could stand up against one guy, especially someone like Cody.

Shelly, do us a favor and stop flaunting your utter ignorance.

This argument is a perfect example of why reading too deeply into a topic of this sort ruins it for everybody. Sports don't need their ethics debated. They don't need their logic debated. Sports are an excuse for mankind to go out and do something. An excuse to use every part of your body to achieve a common goal. It's an exercise in both body and mind. And maybe this statement is totally off-topic; I don't know anymore. This is pathetic, people. It doesn't make a single ounce of difference what you prefer watching or what you prefer playing. Football, soccer, track... it doesn't matter! For crying out loud, guys, this topic has become a joke! Organized physical activity rocks, and it doesn't matter if you hate one kind and love another. End of story. This has been another off-the-deep-end rant by Canis Minor.