Match 10688 Hit Girl vs. Alice (American McGee's)

[Guest callisto]

LEGENDS OF HIT GIRLHIT AND RUNHit Girl and Battle Girl are facing the Juggernaut. Battle Girl is doing most of the fighting, using her super-strength to match the Juggernaut blow-by-blow."Give it up, Juggernaut! We are not gonna let you keep rampaging through this city!" says Battle Girl"Giving up? Nah, this is way too much fun! It's nice to find someone who can provide a real challenge! Who would have known a cute teenage girl like you could be so strong?" says the Juggernaut"Enough of this 'waiting bullpen' bullshit, I'm going in!" says Hit Girl as she rushes towards the Juggernaut"HIT GIRL, NO!" says Battle GirlTaking advantage of the distraction, the Juggernaut punches Hit Girl, sending her flying against a wall."HIT GIRL!" says Battle Girl as she rushes to Hit Girl's side"Well, this was fun and all, but it's getting late, so I better go! Smell ya later!" says the Juggernaut as he runs away."Hit Girl, are you OK?" says Battle Girl"My whole body hurts...but I'm alive." says Hit Girl, battered and bruised.--------------Later, in Hit Girl's apartment..."Well, your partner is a feisty one. There's no major damage in any of the internal organs, which is why she could left the hospital so quickly. She's otherwise fine, except for one detail..." says Dr. Remy "Thirteen" Hadley"What is it, Dr. Thirteen?" says Battle Girl"Dr. Thirteen is a paranormal investigator, and the father of Traci Thriteen. You can call me Dr. Hadley." says Dr. Remy "Thirteen" Hadley"Ok. So, what is it, Dr. Hadley?" says Battle Girl"It's her back. Her spine is broken. Thankfully, the damage is very minor, which is why we were are able to stitch it and heal her as much as we could. So, in two months, she'll be able to walk around normally and fight crime again. But now, for two months, she has to stay in bed and move as few times as possible. If she stay in bed for two months and doesn't move much, she'll be able to walk around fine with no problem." says Dr. Remy "Thirteen" Hadley"Thank you so much! It's nice to hear that she'll be alright! Don't worry, I'll take good care of her!" says Battle Girl"I know you will, sweetie." says Dr. Remy "Thirteen" Hadley as she leaves the apartment.Battle Girl then turns to Hit Girl."What were you thinking, rushing into battle like that? You don't know how lucky you are! You could have been killed! Why didn't you let me fight the Juggernaut! I was handling the situation fine!" says Battle Girl"This is MY city. You can't expect me to just stand around doing nothing while a supervillain goes on a rampage!" says Hit Girl"Look, I love you like a sister, but we've been thought this already: we fight the low-level threats together, but you leave the high-level threats to me!" says Battle Girl"Maybe when we are with the Venturers, but not in Citiesville. In Citiesville, I take care of criminals, no matter how strong they are" says Hit Girl"But I have super-strength, and you don't! You can't possibly expect to fight as well as I do! You just have to accept that, as a superpowered being, I can do things that you can't!" says Battle Girl"Well, we have more important things to talk about." says Hit Girl"Like what?" says Battle Girl"I'm gonna be stuck in bed for the next two months. That means Citiesville is gonna be unprotected for two months. And, knowing this city, that's all it would take for it to go down the drain. Now, I also love you like a sister, and I trust you, and I KNOW that you have super-strength, but you are still a rookie. You are not ready for solo missions. That's why I need to train a temporary replacement. I want you to find the best candidates you can find, and bring them to me." says Hit Girl"OK, if it makes you happy..." says Battle Girl-----------------------"So, is this the best Battle Girl could come up with? What's your name?" says Hit Girl"Alice.""No last name? Just 'Alice'?" says Hit Girl"Just Alice.""OK, Alice, why do you want to fight crime?" says Hit Girl"I want to prowl all the dark alleys in Citiesville, find criminals, and brutally punish them as I laugh manically all the way! And if someone looks at me funny, I'll beat the hell out of him/her, and if people want me to stop, I'll charge them a fee! Did I mention that Roschach is my role model?" says Alice"Riiiiiiiight...so, you do have any sort of combat experience or skills? Other than your obvious psychosis, I mean." says Hit Girl"I suffered horrors that you can't even begin to comprehend! I faced the nasty, terrifying, sinister horrors that lie in Wonderland! I stared at Wonderland's deep, dark face! I have slayed the ghoulish armies of the cruel tyrants ruling the land, fighting a quest to bring peace to that war-torn land! I have risked my life, my sanity, to make Wonderland a peaceful place once again! I stared at the army of the Queen of Hearts, and I smashed the towers of her castle with my giantess might, I raised by giant foots on her undead army at her command and-" says Alice"OK, OK, I get it! Jeez, you sound like something out of the lyrics of a My Chemical Romance song! Look, just open the closet to your right, OK?" says Hit GirlAlice opens it, and finds a spare Hit Girl costume. This costume has a bigger and pointier cape, a full black mask (instead of the domino mask of the regular costume), no wig and bladed gauntlets instead of the usual gloves."Now, remember, this only for two months. After that, I'll be fully healed, and I'll go back to being the real Hit Girl and you go back to whatever Hot Topic store you came from, capisce?" says Hit Girl"Capisce." says Alice as she puts on the costume and becomes the new Hit Girl"I hope I'm doing the right thing..." says Hit Girl.------------So, during the two months, Alice becomes the new Hit Girl. However, she is far, far worse than he original Hit Girl. She brutally butchers people for crimes like pirating DVDs, literring, jaywalking or parking in handicapped spaces. She keeps other superheroes out of the city. And she seels the drugs she steals from drug dealers to other drug dealers.After the two months are over, Alice stands gloating over the eviscerated body of Dr. Curt Connors, when the original Hit Girl and Battle Girl."Ok, Alice, your time is up. Time to go back home and leave this city to me." says Hit Girl"Holy shit, is that Dr. Connors?" says Battle Girl, shocked"She...she killed him!" says Hit Girl in shock, finally noticing the body of Dr. Connors."Yes, I did! And I made him suffer before I did! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!" says Alice"You...you crossed the line! You took an innocent life!" says Hit Girl"What are you talking about? He's the supervillain known as the Lizard!" says Alice"That's not his fault! He can't control it when he turns into the Lizard! It's like a disease he has, and he needs to be cured! He needed to be saved from his Lizard condition! He is innocent...and you slaughtered him! And I NEVER KILL INNOCENTS!" says Hit Girl"Innocent? Innocent? Nobody is innocent! And if you think otherwise, you are an ignorant fool! Curt Connors didn't deserve to be saved! Nobody deserves to be saved! In fact, I'm better off wiping out humanity as a whole and doing the universe a favor! I don't want to be like you, I want to be selfish! I want to be hardcore! Hardcore to the g and the fourth power!" says Alice"She...she sounds like Ra's Al Ghul or Apocalypse! That's supervillain talk right there!" says Battle Girl"I don't care what you believe, that's NOT what I believe! I believe in truth and justice! I believe that there are innocent people out there, and I swore to protect them! But you just ended an innocent life, which makes you my enemy! I don't care if you want to wipe out humanity, I want to PROTECT humanity! I want to protect all the innocent, nice people I see everyday! You think you are so tought, you think you are a major terror, but you are just a weak young girl playing tough and posturing! You don't know what tough is, and you don't know what true innocence is! I want my identity back, and I want my city back, and I want them RIGHT NOW! Is that 'hardcore to the g 4 power' enough for you, bitch?" says Hit Girl"You want them? Come and take them from me!" says AliceAs Battle Girl starts moving towards Alice, Hit Girl pushes her away."Battle Girl, this is something I need to do myself." says Hit GirlThus, Hit Girl charges towards Alice...So, who wins this?

[Guest LoneWolf]

Interesting match. I think Alice's actions aren't exactly what me or g4 are talking about, no-one condones slaughtering innocent people for trivial crimes... but the set-up is good, other than that. I honestly don't know Alice at all, so I can't comment on whether she can beat HG.