Match 11128 Marisa Kirisame and Patchouli vs. Douchey McNitpick

[Guest Redemption X]

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[Callisto]

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Marisa Kirisame

Read more about Marisa Kirisame at Wikipedia

Official Site: Team Shanghai Alice Links: Wikipedia Touhou wiki SWRS Wiki

 

Patchouli

Read more about Patchouli at Wikipedia

Official Site: Team Shanghai Alice Links: Wikipedia Touhou wiki SWRS Wiki

 

Douchey McNitpick

Official Site: That Guy With The Glasses Links: Wikipedia That Guy With The Glasses Wikia Villians Wikia

 

 

[Guest Redemption X]

Marisa: Hello, and welcome to another episode of "Touhou Reviews"! I'm Marisa Kirisame.

 

Patchouli: And I'm Patchouli Knowledge, and today's movie is-

 

*suddenly, the feed gets interrupted*

 

Douchey McNitpick: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!

 

Marisa: Oh great, it's you. *sigh*

 

Patchouli: What do you want this time, Douchey?

 

Douchey McNitpick: You made a lot of mistakes in your "Hunger Games" review, and I'm here to make you answer for those mistakes!

 

Marisa: Really? We have to do this? Can't we just-

 

Douchey McNitpick: NOOOOO!!!!!!! I won't rest until you adress all the *vulgarity*-ups you made!

 

Patchouli: Like what, exactly?

 

Douchey: First, Gale and Katniss and SUPPOSED to look alike, he even pretends to be her cousin at one stage!

 

Marisa: Well, you see, we never read the books, so when we saw the movie, we assumed-

 

Douchey: NOOOOOO!!!!!!! I read the original books, therefore I expect everyone to do it as well!

 

Patchouli: Yeah, but if the movie is good, reading the book shouldn't be-

 

Douchey: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Reading the book is a MUST! A pox, a pox on all of your houses!

 

Marisa: Is there anything else?

 

Douchey: Yes, there is! How dare you call Rue "the black version of Prim"! She's much more than that! She's an innocent little girl who reminds the heroine of her younger sister! She even calls Rue "Prim" at one stage!

 

Patchouli: Well, Rue is described as a dark version of Prim in the book, so we thought-

 

Douchey: NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Only I get to say what the words in the book mean! I and no one else!

 

Marisa: Well, that's not fair, because-

 

Douchey: TROLL! TROLL!

 

Patchouli: You are calling HER a troll? All we did was review the damn movie! If anyone here is acting like a troll, it's you!

 

Douchey: NO!!!!! Anyone that pisses me off is a troll! You both pissed me off with your review, therefore you are both trolls!

 

Marisa: What the hell kind of logic is that?

 

Douchey: And why do you keep calling Haymlitch "Woody Harrelson"? Haymlitch is supposed to be stocky, short, middle-aged and with dark curly hair! I never pictured Woody Harrelson as Haymlitch, therefore no one else should!

 

Patchouli: Yeah, but in the movie-

 

Douchey: NOOOOO!!!!!!! This is supposed to be my interpretation of the characters! It has nothing to do with the actors!

 

Marisa: And what gives you the right to-

 

Douchey: And how dare you criticize the fact that Foxface never wears a scarf! I pictured her wearing a scarf, therefore every single image of her has to depict her wearing a scarf!

 

Patchouli: Yeah, but she never-

 

Douchey: NO!!!!!!! In the original books, it doesn't say that she DOESN'T wear a scarf, therefore I say she wears a scarf! And what I say, goes!

 

Marisa: Look, you obnoxious bastard, we were just making jokes, OK! It wasn't supposed to be taken seriously, it was just supposed to be comedy! You know, making people laugh!

 

Douchey: Well, I didn't find it funny!

 

Patchouli: Well, just because you didn't find it funny, doesn't mean nobody else will!

 

Marisa: Yeah, what makes you think everyone has the same taste in humor than you?

 

Douchey: Pssht! Nostalgia Critic and Spoony are way funnier than you!

 

Patchouli: But you also harass Nostalgia Critic!

 

Douchey: True, but he criticizes movies and shows using valid points!

 

Marisa: Are you *vulgarity*ing kidding me? Every time you show up on Doug's show, you whine about how his criticisms aren't valid!

 

Douchey: That's because I'm Douchey McNitpick! The only enjoyment I can get out of any of these reviews is letting off steam by arguing with the reviewers!

 

Patchouli: Don't you have anything better to do with your life?

 

Douchey: Yes, reading the "Hunger Games" books! You should read those books before you review the movie!

 

Marisa: But it's just funnier if we-

 

Douchey: Oh, you think you are funny? Well, you aren't! The only thing you are doing is irritating me! You can stay here and say that the review was supposed to be funny all you want, but I say that you failed terribly! And my word is law! If I say that you failed, then YOU FAILED! Rot in Hell, both of you!

 

Patchouli: OK, asshole, what did we ever do to you for you to treat us this way?

 

Douchey: You are trolls! All you do is insult people!

 

Marisa: Who? Tell me, who did we insult?

 

Douchey: ME! You insulted me with your lack of knowledge of the "Hunger Games" books! And I'm the most important person in the world!

 

Patchouli: Look, we already told you that we never read the books-

 

Douchey: I don't care if you never read the books!

 

Marisa: Then why the hell are you-

 

Douchey: I already told you, I'm Douchey McNitpick! I argue with reviewers, that's what I do! TROLLS!

 

Patchouli: Stop calling us trolls!

 

Douchey: You tore apart a franchise you knew nothing about! That makes you trolls in my eyes! And what I say, goes!

 

Marisa: Dude, CALM THE *vulgarity* DOWN! They are just books, it's not worth-

 

Douchey: NOOOOOO!!!!! You irritated me! Thus, I feel I have to defend myself and argue with you! That's what irritation does to people!

 

Patchouli: We were just trying to make people laugh, it's-

 

Douchey: Well, I'm not laughing! And if I'm not laughing, that means no one else is!

 

Marisa: You...you are not going away, are you?

 

Douchey: NOOOOOO!!!!!!! I'll stay here and keep arguing until you make up for the grave offense you did to my beloved books! I MUST restore Suzanne Collin's honor!

 

Patchouli: This is gonna be a long day...

 

So, can Marisa and Patchouli get rid of Douchey McNitpick?