Match 11925 Peter Griffin vs. Glenn Quagmire

[ThePhenomenalOne]

Giggity- the tale of a pervert.

 

 

It was your typical summer day in the small town of Quahog, Rhode Island. The sun was shining, the kids were running through the neighborhood, and some of the ladies decided to work on their tan. Lois and Meg walked out of the back of their house, towels, sun tan lotion, and a radio were in hand. They both had their bikinis on already. Lois started to shake her towel to get ready to lie it on the ground. Meg had hers down already and went to turn the radio on when she heard something coming from the bushes. She thought nothing of it and turned on a station playing 'Hungry like the wolf'. She went to lay down on her towel when she heard the noise again.

 

"Mom, did you hear that? It sounds like something is coming from the bushes over there."

 

"Meg, don't worry. It was probably just a squirrel looking for a nut." Lois says irritated

 

"Giggity"

 

"Mom?! I definitely heard something that time!" Meg says scared

 

"Meg, calm down! I assure you that no one is trying to peep on you. I mean seriously, look at yourself Meg." Lois said

 

About 20 minutes passes by and Lois rolls over to her stomach. With her eyes closed she says,

 

"Meg, would you mind putting some lotion on my back?" Lois asks

 

Without a response lotion is on her back and being rubbed in.

 

"Meg, I have to tell you that I think you might have found your calling. That feels amazing. Here let me undo my strap so you can get my whole back." Lois says while undoing her tie to her bikini. "Meg! Oh my god! That seriously feels amazing! Meg, hey Meg what are you doing. Why are you rubbing my butt? Meg? Do you have a stick in your hand poking me?" Lois asks confused as she opens her eyes to see Quagmire rubbing her back with a big grin on his face and a massive erection. "Quagmire! What in the hell are you doing?!" Lois screams

 

"Well, I was out trimming my bush when I heard you ask Meg to rub lotion on your back. I saw that she was asleep and decided to help a neighbor out." Quagmire says with a slick smile on his face.

 

"Well, that was kind of you to do Glen, but you took it a little far when you started rubbing my butt." Lois says with a confused look on her face

 

"Please don't tell Peter, I don't want him to be mad at me. I promise I'll never do anything like that again!" Quagmire pleads with Lois.

 

"Alright, just make sure it doesn't happen again or I will have to tell Peter." Lois says

 

Later in the day, Lois is inside preparing dinner. She is hard at work when Peter walks in the door.

 

"Hey honey, I'm home! What the hell is for dinner? I'm freakin starving here." Peter says

 

"I'm making meatloaf Peter. How was your day?" Lois says

 

"Meatloaf? Again? Ewww! I don't want it!" Peter says childishly flailing his arms

 

"Peter, you're going to eat this meatloaf or you're not going to have any dessert!" Lois scolds

 

"Meh, whatevs. Oh! About my day! Well, I'm sitting there at the brewery talking to Opie. I then asked him who would he rather do, Brooklyn Decker, Kate Upton, or Barbara Walters? Can you believe that son of a bitch said Barbara Walters? The nerve of that guy. I haven't been this upset since I realized that girls fart."

 

-----Goes to a flashback of Peter in high school in the back seat of a car making out with a girl---

 

"Oh Peter, you kiss so good! I'm having such a tubular time!" The girl says to Peter

 

"Yeah baby, I think we're going all the way toni--" Peter is interrupted by a car shaking, 10 second fart. "Wait, If that wasn't me then, then that means it was yo-" Peter begins to vomit all over the girl.

 

-----Back to present day-----

 

"How was your day honey?" Peter asks

 

"It was good. Meg and I lied out for little while, I did some dishes and then made dinner. I have to go to the bathroom real quick Peter, watch the meatloaf." Lois says as she hurries to the bathroom. Lois goes in the bathroom and does her deed. She begins to pull up her pants and flush the toilet. The toilet won't flush though. She tries a couple of times when all of a sudden she hears a voice.

 

"Hear, let me get that for you." Quagmire says nonchalantly

 

"Quagmire? What the hell? Didn't we just have this talk? I'm telling Peter!" Lois screams

 

"No, Lois you don't understand. I'm here to fix the toilet. When I was here the other day, I noticed it was really loose. Giggity, So I decided to come over and help you guys out." Quagmire smiles at Lois

 

"No no no. Today was acceptable. This is unacceptable. I'm telling Peter!" Lois says

 

"Lois, let me. I need to do this." Quagmire says as he exits the bathroom

 

Quagmire goes into the kitchen where Peter is. Peter gets a surprised look on his face before he talks.

 

"Quagmire! What's up buddy? What are you doing here. I didn't even hear the bell ring." Peter says

 

"That's because I've been here Peter. Can we go grab a beer down at the clam?" Quagmire says

 

"Sure thing pal. Hey Lois, I'm going to the clam with Quagmire. So I'm not eating meatloaf! But I still get dessert when I get home!" Peter says as he exits the house

 

Down at the clam, Peter and Quagmire have been sitting there for about an hour and a half drinking beers and just bullshitting when Quagmire finally decides to talk to Peter.

 

"Pete, there is something I have to tell you." Quagmire says nervously

 

"Anything pal. You're my best friend and I'm here for you." Peter says with a smile on his face.

 

Quagmire exhales a sigh of relief

 

"Good. Peter, I'm in love with Lois. I rubbed lotion on her back and butt today. I also snuck into your bathroom to watch her pee. I've pretty much stalked her for a long long time. Man, that feels good to say. Now what can we do to remedy this situation? Should we just share her or someth--." Quagmire is cut off by Peter hitting Quagmire with a right cross and knocking him out of the booth. On the ground, Quagmire holds his eye and looks up at Peter.

 

"What the hell man? You said I could tell you anything? I need your help through this." Quagmire cries

 

"I'm sorry Quagmire. You're right though. I can help you through this. Let me just talk to Lois and we can get this figured out. I'm going to go ahead and leave. I'll call you after I talk to her." Peter says as he offers his hand out to help Quagmire stand up.

 

Back at the Griffin household, Lois is woken up in bed.

 

"Hey Peter, did you talk to him? That Quagmire sure is crazy. I'm telling you, he's going to end up on that 'To catch a predator show'. You wait and see. Oh Peter, feel like getting frisky huh?" Lois giggles as she is caressed up and down. All of a sudden the door opens.

 

"Hey Lois, I'm home. I talked to Quagmire everything should be alright." Peter says as he turns on the light to see Quagmire in bed with Lois.

 

"Quagmire? What in the hell are you doing?" Peter and Lois say in unison.

 

"Peter, I'm sorry!" Quagmire stands up and jumps out the window. Peter runs downstairs and out the front door. He chases Quagmire through his front yard. Quagmire is about to reach his front door when he is tackled by Peter. Peter then stands him up and hits him with 2 crosses and goes for a third but Quagmire ducks and knees him in the groin. Peter is hunched over as Quagmire delivers 5 muay thai knees to Peters face. Peter lifts Quagmire up and slams him hard and the fight is on!!

 

Peter vs Quagmire. Straight up fight. They can use their surroundings but can't run inside to grab a gun or knife. No outside interference and the cops won't show up to break it up. Enjoy! It's been awhile.

[Callisto]

Learn More About

Peter Griffin

Read more about Peter Griffin at Wikipedia

Official Site: FOX Broadcasting Company Links: Peter Griffin Wiki Entry Planet Family Guy Family Guy Official Site

 

Glenn Quagmire

Read more about Glenn Quagmire at Wikipedia

Official Site: FOX Broadcasting Company Links: Wikipedia FOX Family Guy Official Site Adult Swim Official Site

 

 

[ThePhenomenalOne]

Yay! This is for June's entry. I hope you all enjoy.

[Guest bigballerju]

Excellent setup which I enjoyed and I think they even did something similar on an episode of Family Guy. Poor Glenn is gone get a beating he will never rememeber. He can't hang with Peter in a good ole brawl. (Watch the episodes where Peter has brutal fights with the Chicken and Brian) Glenn is a lover not a fighter which he has said so himself.

[DamagingRob]

He has beaten the shit out of Brian, though. When he found out he did his dad.

[Guest LoneWolf]

Awesome set-up! Quite funny to read. I think Peter can take the guy down as he is likely fueled with rage at stumbling into such a scene.

[Guest Phenomenal]

Thank you for the comments. I just wonder if Quagmire will fight like he did against Brian because he loves Lois so much. Would love to hear what anyone else has to say.

[DamagingRob]

Poor, Brian. That dog gets the shit beat out of him by everyone. He's got to be the most abused character on that show. Besides Meg.

[ThePhenomenalOne]

lol he does get beat up all the time. I'm just happy I finally wrote something. It's been way too long since I last did anything.

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

USER RATINGS

A Excellent setup which I enjoyed

A Good job bro

A

A

A Good work!

SCORE

Peter Griffin: 22

Glenn Quagmire: 4

FPA: 4.0