Match 12345 Aliens (Independence Day) vs. The Na'vi vs. The Xenomorphs

[Guest DeoJusto]

Unobtanium. The singular key to deep space exploration. It holds the dual honor of being the universe’s most valued element, as well as having the universe’s stupidest name. And yet every civilization in existence still wants some. Except for the one civilization that actually has it. Because the universe is funny that way. Not funny ha-ha, or funny that makes you smile slyly every time you think of it; more like a kind of ‘hey look, giant dreadnaughts have appeared to crush our planet into submission’ funny. Sort of like a British Sitcom.

 

So first came the Humans. Their strategy was simple: arrive on Pandora, make peace with the Na’vi, gain intelligence, then wipe the natives out with a surprise attack. This plan failed. The next species to invade had an even simpler plan: arrive on Pandora, wipe the natives out. See, you save like two hours of screen-time not trying to send one of your guys undercover so he can betray you later.

 

This new alien species, who I shall call the ‘Zune’ because they were pretty much obliterated by a Mac, arrived to take the Unobtanium and prepared to exterminate the Na’vi. As Jake Sully watched the saucers zoom in overhead, he pessimistically realized that Pandora did not have any Apple stores, and that even when anything did arrive, it would be a b*tch to call tech support when your router is a giant network of trees.

 

But what of the humans you might ask? They hated the Zune for their ruthless invasion of their home planet, but equally hated the Na’vi for routing their ruthless invasion of someone else’s home planet. Either way they weren’t going to get the precious unobtanium. But perhaps there was another solution. Perhaps it was time to re-awaken the one called “The Masterâ€.

 

Deep beneath the ruins of Washington his chamber sits. The ruling military council all silently nod, knowing they may not have long to live should he show his wrath at being awoken.

 

A young Private presses the chamber’s lock pad. The capsule door unhinges; smoke breathes out in a hiss. The Master’s eyes twitch open, bringing into focus 3-D cameras he invented solely to allow him to see the world as he thought it was meant to be.

 

“Who dares awaken The Master?â€

 

“We do,†says a man something like a General. No, not a General. Not in front of The Master; in front of such awe he was a boy in soldier’s uniform. The Master scans the room in a long panoramic shot, looking over the men. Everyone collectively pees a little.

 

“Why have you awoken me?â€

 

“Oh great Cam-Er-Ron. Bringer of aliens, and then different aliens, and Sigourney Weaver, and then something with a boat, we ask your guidance. Two alien races, the Na’vi and the Zune are fighting; while Earth is not involved, we for some reason barely explained by the plot, wish to be apart of the war between these alien civilizations.â€

 

“Really, are you sure you don’t want the other guy for this?â€

 

“The Great Destroyer is an option, but I mean, seriously, did you see Transformers 3? It’s just getting ridiculous at this point.â€

 

“Agreed,†Cam-Er-Ron replies. He scratches the thin patch of beard upon his chin, “Yes it is sure to be an epic story. You are right to have awakened me…. The Na’vi shall be victorious. The plucky natives will always find a way to come together and destroy the vastly technologically superior civilization set to destroy them.â€

 

“But Master,†the young Private says, “how can you be so sure? The Zune have weaponry superior to even our own. Plus they have no reason to go fight the Na’vi on the ground, and—â€

 

“SILENCE!!!!â€

 

The Master sends shutters through the room, which terrifies the very wallpaper into whimpering,

 

“Am I not The Master?†he asks, “Am I not the true auteur, the one and only, ahead of the fat-hobbit and his ilk. Am I not the only true master of making epic movies?â€

 

“Well, you are a Master, but not necessarily the only one. I mean Avengers was pretty good,â€

 

“Avengers?....AVENGERS? You dare bring the work of the pale, balding, man-child before the great Cam-Er-Ron? Do you remember how he destroyed my gift, my legacy? Do you remember Aliens Resurrection?â€

 

“Well, yeah, but that wasn’t all him. A lot of the decisions were made above his level, and, you know, with the budget they had, ech…ecchchchchechhhhhh……â€

 

Blood trickles from the Private’s eyes and nose as Cam-Er-Ron stares at him with those lifeless, black, 3D capturing eyeballs. The private stammers, and attempts to draw breath. He fails. The limp corpse falls face forward to The Master’s feet. The General steps over the body to The Master’s side.

 

“Sir. No one here doubts your abilities. But our window of opportunity is drawing to a close. Rumors of Independence Day 2 abound, and Avatar 2 already has an imdb page. We must stop with the pop-culture references and come up with a plan to explain this fight set-up.â€

 

Cam-Er-Ron scratches his beard once more.

 

“I know… release the creatures from my first great work. If they want sequels, let there be sequels…You will drop the Xenomorphs onto Pandora like a biological weapon and watch their population explode as the Navi provide them with better sacrificial bodies. They shall also be smuggled into the Zune mothership by a cocky pilot and a sarcastic scientist…. Yes….Alien vs Alien vs Alien…. And it shall be glorious….â€

[Callisto]

Learn More About

Aliens (Independence Day)

Read more about Aliens (Independence Day) at Wikipedia

Official Site: 20th Century Fox Links: Wikipedia Movie Prop Hollywood.com

 

The Na'vi

Read more about The Na'vi at Wikipedia

Official Site: 20th Century Fox Links: Wikipedia Avatar wiki Official site

 

The Xenomorphs

Read more about The Xenomorphs at Wikipedia

Official Site: 20th Century Fox Links: Wikipedia: Xenomorphs Essays on the Xenomorph's biology 20th Century Fox's Official 'Alien' Site

 

 

[Xenerack5]

Hilarious. The na'vi get vaporised from orbit but the xenomorphs take over the ship pretty quickly.

I was so tempted to vote like this "Zune motherfu''er zoon!

[leroypowell3]

Going with Independance Day Aliens. The Na`vi can't do anything to them because of the technology and telepathy. The Xenomorphs may be vulnerable to telepathic attack and if not the ID4 aliens have force fields. We've never seen ground troups but I'm sure they have something that will stand up to the acid blood.

[Guest Formicidae]

Xenomorphs stomp. There is a reason we haven't seen The Independence Day ground troops and that's because they are reliant on technology. They would most likely be so reliant upon their ships in fact that they would be totally unprepared for acid blood and other such physical attacks. Also the Navi aren't even contenders.

[Guest skadoosh]

If the Xenos can actually get to the other aliens then they win, easily. But they wont get past the superior tech of the Independence Day aliens.

[Guest Formicidae]

It says the Xenomorphs are released on the Independence Day ship! Did you read the set-up? "They shall also be smuggled into the Zune mothership by a cocky pilot and a sarcastic scientist"

[Guest Ruinus]

Even if the xenomorphs are smuggled into the ship they can easily be killed by having the Zune ship NOT be built purely for author fiat to allow the xenos to win. IE no giant vents, no Facehuggers, no sudden inexplicable loss of power on the ship, etc.

[Guest skadoosh]

The aliens have a lot more weapons and technology on their side than just a ship. Being on the ship, in their environment, is actually a downside for the Xenos.

[leroypowell3]

I still say the Xenomorphs would be vulnerable to telepathic attack. On top of that, I theorize that the ID4 aliens have personal gear better than pulse rifles that splatter acid everywhere. The only way I see them losing is their tremendous pride and underestimating the other two groups.

[Guest Formicidae]

Ok I have a few things to say. First off the Xenos don't really have mind, they only have a hive mind and there is no evidence that the telekinesis would effect the Xenos. Secondly yeah if you take away face huggers (which I don't know why this would be the case), and air vents (when it is stated that the independence day aliens breathe air), then yeah, they would be worse for wear. Despite all of this, it doesn't matter. These things suck in any fight except for air battles. Will Smith literally punches one to death in a SINGLE PUNCH! Also there is no example of any weapons that the independence day aliens use other than their ships. It is quite a leap to assume that the independence day aliens would have any sort of strong ground defense or close range weapons. Finally the close quarters are not the environment for the Independence Day aliens, it is however the ideal environment for the aliens, since they are always most effective in when they can get close, sneak on their pray, etc.

Xenos would stomp.

[kainboa]

snip

 

First off the Xenos don't really have mind, they only have a hive mind

 

I'm going to guess that what you were trying to say was that they don't really have a mind, and that is incorrect, we've seen in both novels and other media, that singular xenomorphs are more than capable of thinking on their own.

 

and there is no evidence that the telekinesis would effect the Xenos.

 

Either you don't know what you're talking about, or you are seriously mis-writing here, either way, you're wrong.

 

Telekinesis would affect the xenos just as it would anything else that doesn't have any defence against it, and the same with telepathy.

 

Their hive mind might give some resistance, but since we've never seen them encounter telepathy, we cannot claim that they have any kind of actual defence against it.

 

Claiming that it wouldn't work on them, is quite frankly, stupid, when we've seen that the telepathy of the ID aliens work cross-species.

 

Will Smith literally punches one to death in a SINGLE PUNCH!

 

I'm guessing we haven't seen the same movie then.

 

In Independence day, Will smith punches the alien which has just crashed, knocking it unconscious, not killing it.

 

We then see him drag the same alien through the desert, ending up at area 51, where they open it up, and find out that it's still alive.

 

Also there is no example of any weapons that the independence day aliens use other than their ships.

 

They won't need anything other than their ships, their large ships are capable of destroying the various cities on Pandora, and their fighters are easily capable of killing anything that moves, without worrying about retaliation.

 

Xenos would stomp.

 

Hardly, based on the setup, the cocky pilot and sarcastic scientist doesn't actually have any way of getting them on board the mother-ship, and if it's the same infiltration scenario as in Independence day, then the Xeno's won't get any further than the fighter.

 

Based on the setup, the xeno's will pretty much consume the Na'vi, and the rest of the living creatures on the planet, however they will then get bombed back to the stone age by the ID aliens.

[Guest Shoggoth breeder]

Ja, the ID aliens win.

[Marvel Man]

I'm going with the original facehugging, acid blooded, tiny mouth within a mouth aliens! Why?

 

Because this set up was hilarious!

 

Oh, and the ID4 Aliens rely too much on their tech. In hand to hand combat, a single fist from Will Smith was able to knock one out cold. I realize that same alien later decimated a room full of scientists, but come on. When have you seen a movie where the scientists who perform the autopsy DON'T get ripped apart by the thing they're cutting open?

 

Also, the blue skinned people are not in this match. They only exist to provide incredible entertainment as the newly created Blue Xenos rip through them.

[Guest Formicidae]

First off the Xenos don't really have mind, they only have a hive mind

 

I'm going to guess that what you were trying to say was that they don't really have a mind, and that is incorrect, we've seen in both novels and other media, that singular xenomorphs are more than capable of thinking on their own.

 

and there is no evidence that the telekinesis would effect the Xenos.

 

Either you don't know what you're talking about, or you are seriously mis-writing here, either way, you're wrong.

 

Telekinesis would affect the xenos just as it would anything else that doesn't have any defence against it, and the same with telepathy.

 

Their hive mind might give some resistance, but since we've never seen them encounter telepathy, we cannot claim that they have any kind of actual defence against it.

 

Claiming that it wouldn't work on them, is quite frankly, stupid, when we've seen that the telepathy of the ID aliens work cross-species.

 

Will Smith literally punches one to death in a SINGLE PUNCH!

 

I'm guessing we haven't seen the same movie then.

 

In Independence day, Will smith punches the alien which has just crashed, knocking it unconscious, not killing it.

 

We then see him drag the same alien through the desert, ending up at area 51, where they open it up, and find out that it's still alive.

 

Also there is no example of any weapons that the independence day aliens use other than their ships.

 

They won't need anything other than their ships, their large ships are capable of destroying the various cities on Pandora, and their fighters are easily capable of killing anything that moves, without worrying about retaliation.

 

Xenos would stomp.

 

Hardly, based on the setup, the cocky pilot and sarcastic scientist doesn't actually have any way of getting them on board the mother-ship, and if it's the same infiltration scenario as in Independence day, then the Xeno's won't get any further than the fighter.

 

Based on the setup, the xeno's will pretty much consume the Na'vi, and the rest of the living creatures on the planet, however they will then get bombed back to the stone age by the ID aliens.

You're right Kainboa, I DID mean to put an "a" into that sentence and I thank you kindly for correcting my grammar. Now allow me to return the favor in the same, abrupt, kind manner as yourself.

 

First off, the most obvious mistake in your entire post. You very intelligently left the "s" in Will Smith's last name uncapitalized. Just reminding you that last names need to be capitalized also.

 

You also made a few mistakes in your argument. It is NOT in fact stupid to assume that the Xenomorphs would have some sort of resilience, since they themselves seem to have some sort of telepathic abilities. In Alien 3 there is a captured Xenomorph which convinces one of the prisoners to free it through telepathic messages. This alien basically convinces this prisoner that he is a god. Because of this, it is safe to assume that the Aliens have some sort of defense, if they also have some sort of offense. The Independence Day aliens didn't even show that much telepathic power anyway, so it doesn't matter.

 

Finally, you said that the Xenomorphs would be "bombed back to the stone age." This is not the case. The Xenomorphs aren't dumb enough to leave their queen close enough to the surface to be easily targeted by bombs. They would hide her deep under ground in a dark, untouchable hole. And I know what you're going to say "Oh but their bombs can hit it no matter where they hide it." No. Just no. Remember in Star Ship Troopers when the humans tried to bomb the bugs? Yeah how did that work out? The Xenomorphs on the surface we all be wiped out sure, but millions and millions of more aliens would be waiting to take their place.

 

Also the set-up says that the Aliens are smuggled onto the ship. It says that they're going to be on the ship, or at least it heavily implies it, you can't just assume that they aren't when the set-up says they are.

[Guest thetrekker]

First of all, fantastic set-up. Made me remember why I love the CBUB. Also glad to see one of my first submitted characters (ID4) in use.

 

I'm standing behind the ID4s here. The common argument is that without their technology, they are weakened, and while this is true, we must not forget that they are aboard their own dammed mothership. Being as militant as they are, they certainly have multiple armories as well as elite troops aboard. The Xenos are going in without much of a plan other than kill anything that moves. The ID4 aliens know the layout of the ship. Crucial areas like chokepoints and dead-ends. If the Xenos have an overwhelming force, they could finally break through these lines, but this does not appear to be the case.

 

Also, on the point of the Will Smith punch, did we forget the seconds leading up to that point? His ship just crash landed. This is opposed to Smith's character, who parachuted safely to the ground. It is stated that the aliens are not much more durable than humans (Source? Brent Spiner's creepy scientist). So now if you just crashed your car and your seriously hurt, and a military (in-shape) pilot (whose friend you just killed) walks up and punches you as hard as he can in your face, are you gonna be able to stand right up and whoop his human ass?

[Guest Formicidae]

First of all, fantastic set-up. Made me remember why I love the CBUB. Also glad to see one of my first submitted characters (ID4) in use.

 

I'm standing behind the ID4s here. The common argument is that without their technology, they are weakened, and while this is true, we must not forget that they are aboard their own dammed mothership. Being as militant as they are, they certainly have multiple armories as well as elite troops aboard. The Xenos are going in without much of a plan other than kill anything that moves. The ID4 aliens know the layout of the ship. Crucial areas like chokepoints and dead-ends. If the Xenos have an overwhelming force, they could finally break through these lines, but this does not appear to be the case.

 

Also, on the point of the Will Smith punch, did we forget the seconds leading up to that point? His ship just crash landed. This is opposed to Smith's character, who parachuted safely to the ground. It is stated that the aliens are not much more durable than humans (Source? Brent Spiner's creepy scientist). So now if you just crashed your car and your seriously hurt, and a military (in-shape) pilot (whose friend you just killed) walks up and punches you as hard as he can in your face, are you gonna be able to stand right up and whoop his human ass?

No but the Xenomorphs are much stronger then humans so that point really doesn't matter. Also in Alien, the humans knew the layout of the ship better than the single Xenomorph, and it managed to kill all of them except for one, all on its own despite not having a plan other than kill anything that moves.

[Marvel Man]

Hey, I'm not saying that a 90s Era Will Smith punch doesn't hurt. Or that the crash didn't daze him (but seriously, I'm sure the hyper advanced ship had some sort of future air bags. I mean, the alien did come out all angry and crap. He had all his tentacles flailing like he was about to choke somebody. He didn't seem too hurt to me...)

 

Anyways, I'm just saying. Xenos eat up hardened marines like Cheerios. All the muscle and ammo helps lower their cholesterol or something.

 

They're just too much!

 

Without their force fields, the ID Aliens got owned hard. Thats what's happening here.

[Guest bigballerju]

The setup had be laughing my ass off. Excellent setup indeed. I am going with the ID aliens because with their technology and weapons they would easily destroy the Xenos aboard their ship. Plus the ID aliens are obviously very smart intellect wise and wouldn't make the same mistakes humans do against the Xenos. ID aliens destroy the Xenos on aboard their ship and bomb the hell out of the planet at the same time with no problem actually.

[kainboa]

snip

 

First off, the most obvious mistake in your entire post. You very intelligently left the "s" in Will Smith's last name uncapitalized. Just reminding you that last names need to be capitalized also.

 

A few things about this particular point, first off, I've never claimed to be particularly good at grammar, in fact I have stated on a couple of occasions that as long as people understand what I'm trying to say, I don't really give a damn.

 

Secondly, the errors which I have made in my post, does not make it somewhat difficult to understand what I am trying to say, something that your mistake did.

 

And finally, English is not my native language, as such certain errors is to be expected.

 

I will restate my position, that as long as people understand what I'm trying to say, I'm doing fairly well, forgetting to capitalize a name, does not in any way make it hard to understand what I'm trying to say, forgetting to input a word in a sentence, or using a completely different word, like you did with Telekinetic rather than Telepathic does.

 

You also made a few mistakes in your argument. It is NOT in fact stupid to assume that the Xenomorphs would have some sort of resilience, since they themselves seem to have some sort of telepathic abilities. In Alien 3 there is a captured Xenomorph which convinces one of the prisoners to free it through telepathic messages. This alien basically convinces this prisoner that he is a god. Because of this, it is safe to assume that the Aliens have some sort of defense, if they also have some sort of offense.

 

No, it is not safe to assume anything.

 

Until we've actually seen that they have any kind of active telepathic defence, the only assumption we can make, is that they have some kind of telepathic ability, not to which extend they can use it.

 

However by the same measure, I will also include that we cannot assume that the ID aliens have any kind of telepathic defence either, so in a telepathic fight, we can't say who would win, based purely on what we've seen in the movies.

 

Finally, you said that the Xenomorphs would be "bombed back to the stone age." This is not the case. The Xenomorphs aren't dumb enough to leave their queen close enough to the surface to be easily targeted by bombs. They would hide her deep under ground in a dark, untouchable hole. And I know what you're going to say "Oh but their bombs can hit it no matter where they hit it." No. Just no. Remember in Star Ship Troopers when the humans tried to bomb the bugs? Yeah how did that work out? The Xenomorphs on the surface we all be wiped out sure, but millions and millions of more aliens would be waiting to take their place.

 

I never said anything about their queen being left on the surface, I am fully aware that the Xenos will more than likely start creating a Hive, however the ID aliens have shown more than neccecary firepower to completely destroy any kind of structure the Xenos create, whether it be on the surface or subteranian, it might take a few blasts, but eventually the hive will be reduced to rubble and the Xenos exterminated.

 

As a side-note, in SST, the bugs they were trying to destroy, had vastly superior long-range capablities over the xenos, as such, comparing the two is stupid.

 

it is like comparing attacking an anthil to attacking a beehive, and saying that you can't use the same type of weapon to defeat both of them, because the bees are able to defend against it.

 

Also the set-up says that the Aliens are smuggled onto the ship. It says that they're going to be on the ship, or at least it heavily implies it, you can't just assume that they aren't when the set-up says they are.

 

Okay, i'll just quote the particular line from the setup, and then we can try to figure out what it actually means.

 

“I know… release the creatures from my first great work. If they want sequels, let there be sequels…You will drop the Xenomorphs onto Pandora like a biological weapon and watch their population explode as the Navi provide them with better sacrificial bodies. They shall also be smuggled into the Zune mothership by a cocky pilot and a sarcastic scientist…. Yes….Alien vs Alien vs Alien…. And it shall be glorious….â€

 

Now, the setup mentions the method with which they will be smuggled onto the ship, however it never actually mentions that it succeededs, assuming that it automatically succeeds, is just as moronic as assuming that the xenos have telepathic defences, when we've never seen them exhibit it.

 

Going with the information we have from the ID movie, and the setup, the only thing we can say for certain, is that the cocky pilot and a sarcastic scientist will be attempting to smuggle the xenos onboard the mothership.

 

Personally I see two outcomes to this particular attempt.

 

One, the cocky pilot and sarcastic scientist gets eaten by the xeno while flying towards the mothership, and the fighter gets splattered across the shield.

 

Two, they manage to enter the hangar bay, and get discovered when they try to exit their fighter craft, it then gets blown to bits, killing both the xeno and the two humans.

[Guest deojusto]

Personally I've got to go with the ID4 guys. Most of the talk about telepathic attacks seems off base to me. The Xenos haven't shown any protection from it, but more importantly the ID4 aliens don't show it as much of a weapon. They use it on one guy who was right next to them. If he could have used it on the president, ie the most important guy in the room, he would have. So I think its a wash. Its a form of communication first, a weapon second.

 

However I do think ID4 guys win because they're ship is huge, and yet they were able to sense foreign life in the space fighter as it was coming aboard in the movie. They can do the same to the Aliens, and yeah there is no guarantee that they can even be smuggled onto the ship successfully. That defense is a big part of the ID4 aliens' strength.

 

Also I wouldn't say these things aren't that tough. Maybe tougher then space marines. They're outer shell is basically just a biological power armor. We've never seen ground forces because they never needed them before. The one who got knocked out was just in a air crash. How would you fare if your vehicle smashed into the dirt at the speed of a fighter jet? How would you feel if Will Smith walked up and cold cocked you right after? You probably wouldn't be up and killing scientists in a few hours I can tell you that much.

 

(Also, it may not be impossible for the Na'vi to win. If the xenomorph battle on the mothership causes the sheilds to drop then its another air battle like in Avatar. Pandora also works like a giant network that pretty much hates anything that isn't natural. If you endanger it, the entire planet gets pissed off. The only question is whether it rejects the xenos like a virus or tries to incorporate them into the food chain. If that happened, then you'd have Na'vi riding xenomorphs...But honestly the xenomorphs just kill everything instinctively and spread till nothing else lives, so the virus analogy is probably correct.)

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

USER RATINGS

A

A Watch and learn, people. Watch and learn.

A

A

A

A

A

A Beyond Excellent!

SCORE

Aliens (Independence Day): 18

The Na'vi: 3

The Xenomorphs: 20

FPA: 4.0