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By UMPIRE

Sindacco Crime Family vs. Forelli Crime Family

MATCH SCORE
Sindacco Crime Family: 0
Forelli Crime Family: 1

By UMPIRE

Siegfried vs. Kazuya Mishima

MATCH SCORE
Siegfried: 1
Kazuya Mishima: 7

By UMPIRE

Maulkiller vs. Dante (DMC)

MATCH SCORE
Maulkiller: 4
Dante (DMC): 0

By UMPIRE

Rugal Bernstein vs. Raidou

MATCH SCORE
Rugal Bernstein: 4
Raidou: 1

By UMPIRE

Fox (Gargoyles) vs. Fox (Wanted)

MATCH SCORE
Fox (Gargoyles): 4
Fox (Wanted): 1

By UMPIRE

Scarlet Witch vs. Cybermen (Mondasian)

MATCH SCORE
Scarlet Witch: 5
Cybermen (Mondasian): 0

By UMPIRE

Momiji vs. Sophitia Alexandra

MATCH SCORE
Momiji: 2
Sophitia Alexandra: 8

By UMPIRE

Ken Masters vs. Ash Crimson

MATCH SCORE
Ken Masters: 9
Ash Crimson: 1

By UMPIRE

Vin vs. Korra

MATCH SCORE
Vin: 4
Korra: 3

By UMPIRE

Snow White vs. Danny The Dog

MATCH SCORE
Snow White: 3
Danny The Dog: 1

By UMPIRE

Sweet vs. The Music Meister

MATCH SCORE
Sweet: 3
The Music Meister: 0

By UMPIRE

Ibuki vs. Mai Shiranui

MATCH SCORE
Ibuki: 6
Mai Shiranui: 5

By UMPIRE

The Klingon Empire vs. The Demon Sorcerers

MATCH SCORE
The Klingon Empire: 0
The Demon Sorcerers: 4

By UMPIRE

Crimson Viper vs. Ayane

MATCH SCORE
Crimson Viper: 0
Ayane: 9

By UMPIRE

The Lord Of The Dance vs. Michael Jackson (Moonwalker)

MATCH SCORE
The Lord Of The Dance: 1
Michael Jackson (Moonwalker): 3

By UMPIRE

Minute Men (Kaiserreich) vs. Mishima Zaibatsu

MATCH SCORE
Minute Men (Kaiserreich): 0
Mishima Zaibatsu: 3

By UMPIRE

Ryu Hayabusa vs. Jin Kazama

MATCH SCORE
Ryu Hayabusa: 4
Jin Kazama: 2

By UMPIRE

Siegfried vs. General M. Bison

MATCH SCORE
Siegfried: 3
General M. Bison: 2

By UMPIRE

Emma Peel vs. Baroness

MATCH SCORE
Emma Peel: 4
Baroness: 2

By UMPIRE

Sophitia Alexandra vs. Rachel (Ninja Gaiden)

MATCH SCORE
Sophitia Alexandra: 3
Rachel (Ninja Gaiden): 2

Match 12576 Michael Westen vs. Sterling Archer


Guest DeoJusto
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Guest DeoJusto

“Put on the mustache!â€

 

“Look Archer, I’m not sure where exactly we’re going with this plan, mustache or no mustache. Preferably no mustache.â€

 

Micheal and Archer are perched on a rooftop looking over a buttload of Russian guards circling a Miami warehouse. They all have sub-machineguns hidden on their persons, tucked under their turtlenecks. Archer is staring through binoculars.

 

“Really, is everyone doing turtlenecks now? It’s Miami douche bags, you couldn’t find anything more original?â€

 

“They’re Russian gangsters and they’re guarding an imported weapons cache,†Michael says, “I don’t think fashion was their main concern.â€

 

“Well obviously. What the hell do they wear in Russia, grocery bags and a nice pair of tissue box shoes?â€

 

“Can we please focus on stopping them from selling the guns? Look, I have a plan. We cause a massive explosion outside their warehouse that somehow inexplicably harms no one. Then we go to the boss, Kasamov, pretending to be dirty cops working for the arms buyer. We're upset because he can't keep his products safe. We get inside his organization and convince him to move the guns to a new location for better protection. Once they’re on the move, we run the convoy off the road, again inexplicably harming no one, and leave the cops to pick up Kasamov after they come to inspect the area based on an emergency call we make.â€

 

“Or, counter-plan, we put on disguises and fake mustaches, steal the guns, shoot Kasamov in the face, then get some ceviche. But not from a food-cart, because that’s like playing press your luck with your bowels.â€

 

“That’s what you had in mind?â€

 

“Well I’m still working on it. I mean, I'd be fine with Jamaican too. Just something that won’t leave me immobilized on a toilet for eight hours. Preferably it would also have mojitos. Or Cuba Libre. Or we could just cut out the middle man and get a handle of rum.â€

 

“Not that,†Micheal whispers. He rips the binoculars from Archers hands.

 

“The plan,†he says, “That’s your plan. How is going in guns blazing going to do anything but get us killed?â€

 

“We’d have mustaches, it's a fool-proof plan,†Archer whispers angrily, “And don’t give me that tone, you’re just the hired help, so I don’t need to take this kind of crap from a contractor.â€

 

“Your mother hired me to get those weapons back, and when she wants me to get the job done, I get it done my way,â€

 

“Phrasing,â€

 

“Shut up. We do it my way or I’m out.â€

 

“Well then you can suck it,†Archer yells, “cause I’m gonna get the weapons while you’re still practicing some dumbass regional accent for your stupid dirty cop routine!â€

 

His voice breaks the silence, the Russians fire the SMGs towards the rooftop. Archer and Michael split up as they escape, each planning to raid the warehouse in their own manner.

 

 

-------------------------------

Mike has his normal team of Fiona, Sam, and Jesse. Archer calls in Lana, Ray (with working legs), and Cyril (who is more of a handicap than anything else). Main question is, who’s the better spy.

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Guest skadoosh

Archer is the better spy, but mostly due to deus ex machina, and not actual skill. Although he is very good at killing people and blowing things up. Westen is definitely more organized, and probably more focused in more situations, but he just doesn't have the same ridiculous feats as Archer.

 

Also, their suits are pretty similar, Archer can probably drink more and i'd say Westen has the better back up.

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Guest Supes Rulez

Michael Westen takes this. Not only is he as badass as you could realistically be as a spy, but now that he's entered the battle any deus ex machinas are right out the window.

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Guest skadoosh

Michael Westen takes this. Not only is he as badass as you could realistically be as a spy, but now that he's entered the battle any deus ex machinas are right out the window.

 

Archer is an unrealistically good spy, though. He's above Westen because of his cartoon nature. And there's no reason for Archer's luck to go anywhere just because he's up against Westen, dude.

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Guest deojusto

I'd give it to archer too. He may be a more shoot first type of guy, but it isn't just luck that puts him on top. A lot of the time he's overcoming ridiculous odds (i.e. the pirate episodes), and he's actually pretty skilled at rampaging through tons of guys armed with his tiny pistol and a life-time supply of crazy. Plus Archer's enemies are usually much higher up on the criminal food chain then Mike's, who are usually like a half dozen low level scumbags.

 

Westen could complete the mission, but not with the same amount of awesome. He's too realistic to keep up with Archer's impossible stunts.

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Guest sithisson

Archer takes this hands down true but only by a margin in my book. Michael if anything is quite informative if nothing else and is a joy to watch him and his mastery. However Sterling holds the edge due to some of the bombastic feats he's pulled off.

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Guest deojusto

Archer is imo the funniest show on right now, tied possibly with Its Always Sunny and or Venture Brothers, but VB makes like ten episodes every year so its sort of hard to gage by pure comedy. Anyway, if you haven't caught Archer, you aught to check it out.

 

Archer the character is basically what Michael would be if he lost 20 IQ points, started killing people rather then just shooting near them, lived in a world unhindered by so called 'reality', and made way more penis jokes. Plus his relation with his mom is even worse than Mike's if you can believe it. Also he's a player.

 

Speaking of, I just got an idea for a new match. I wonder if Omar from the Wire is on here.

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