Match 12802 Carrie White vs. David Rice (Jumper) vs. Charlie McGee

[Guest Redemption X]

(So, here's my submission to the October Challenge. I know it's late, and I know it's shorter than I wanted it to be, but it's still my best effort.

 

First of all, this takes place in the Scarlet Knightverse, a splinter universe from Universe Beta and Touhou Reviews. So, it's best if you look back at my other Universe Beta fights in the archives.

 

Second, I want this match judged fairly. No pretty, vindictive stuff like "you want bad grades, you got them" or "one F, coming up". Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I want good grades.)

 

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdcvBSRVkUU

 

REDEMPTION'S X

 

 

A SCARLET KNIGHTSVERSE STORY

 

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OCTOBER 13TH, 2011

 

The Vulture lands in the frozen depths of the Antartica. Out of the highly-advanced jet come David Rice, Charlie McGee, Carrie White, Violet Parr, Jeremy Reed, Allie Keys and Yun Sook. They are Changers, the next stage in human evolution. Together, they are known as the Alpha Team, protecting the world in secret.

 

"So, remind me why am I freezing my ass in this deslotate tundra, when I could be sunning myself in the Bahamas?" says David Rice

 

"A distress signal has been sent from this location, Outpost 42, a research station for astronomers, biologists and zoologists. The group of researchers, a team of Swedish people and an American scientist, Dr. Kaylyn Dickinson, were never heard from again after the distress signal was sent. The Venturers are busy dealing with a Dalek attack in Minesotta, so it's up to us to get to the bottom of this." says Violet Parr

 

"Oh, I guess that's a good enough reason. Man, this superhero stuff really takes it out of you!" says David

 

"Allie, do you have any telepathic readings about this place?" says Carrie White

 

"Something happened in this place...something terrible..." says Allie Keys

 

Suddenly, a Huskie dog comes running at them.

 

"Oh, what a cute little dog!" says Yun Sook as she starts petting the dog and scratching its back. However, Allie reacts with horror at the sight of the dog.

 

"NO! NO! Get away from the dog! GET AWAY FROM THE DOG!" says Allie, horrified.

 

The dog suddenly starts snarling and looking fierce, and moves to bite Allie. Instinctively, Allie vaporizes the dog with just a thought.

 

"Allie, what the hell was that?" says Charlie McGee

 

"Let's just get inside, OK?" says Violet Parr

 

However, what they find inside shocks and disgusts them. The Swedish scientists are all horribly butchered. They eyeballs are cut out, their legs have been chopped off, they tongues are missing from their bodies. Doctor Kaylyn Dickinson's spleen, intestine, lungs and stomach are all over the place. The floors and walls are tinged red with blood.

 

Violet, not used to see such gruesome sights, starts vomiting.

 

"So, have we found Doctor Dickinson yet?" says Jeremy Reed, who is the last to enter

 

"Yeah, she's over there...and there...and there...and there...and there..." says David

 

"Who...who could be mean enough to do this to these poor scientists? Such brutality..." says Violet

 

"Guys, you better come here, you are NOT gonna believe this!" calls out Yun Sook from another room

 

The rest of the Alpha Team follow her, and none of them are prepared for what they find:

 

 

 

 

 

"What...what is that...thing?" says Carrie

 

"Whatever it is...it's not human..." says Charlie

 

"Do you think that's a Changer?" says Jeremy

 

"That is no Changer." says Yun Sook

 

"It's frozen, so we won't have anything to worry about. The temperature here is too low for it to thaw out, so we better..." says Violet

 

Suddenly, another unexpected turn of events: Doctor Dickinson enters the room, alive and well.

 

"OK, now this is definitevely a 100 in my weird shit-o-meter!" says David

 

"How...how is this possible? What is going on?" says Jeremy

 

"This...this isn't right...this isn't right at all..." says Allie

 

Doctor Dickinson stands there, not saying a word, not doing much of anything, with a blank expression on her face.

 

"Doctor...Doctor Dickinson? Doctor D?" says Violet as she reaches out towards her, but Allie pulls her back.

 

"VIOLET, NO! GET AWAY FROM HER!" says Allie in fear

 

Suddenly, "Doctor Dickinson" starts sprouting tentacles, claws and fangs. Allie screams at the top her lungs of her lungs and then passes out. The creature that was posing as Doctor Dickinson attacks the Alpha Team. Charlie uses her powers to set the creature on fire, burning it horribly. The creature wails and moans as it burns to death.

 

"Allie! Allie, are you ok?" says Jeremy as he grabs her.

 

"I don't know about you, but I think I'm ready to get the hell out of here!" says David

 

"Sounds like a good idea to me!" says Carrie.

 

They run outside...only to find the Vulture completely destroyed. Ripped apart in a million pieces, their jet is now a burning piece of wreckage, completely useless.

 

"I knew I shouldn't have gotten out of bed in the morning..." says David

 

-----------------------------------

 

"How is Allie?" says Jeremy

 

"Well, I'm no doctor, but I'm sure that she's just fine. Something caused her to blank out. According to my estimations, she'll wake up in about a week." says Violet

 

"Great, we are stuck here, in the middle of nowhere, few people know that we are here, and we are sitting among a hundred bloody corpses! What else could go wrong?" says David, frustrated

 

"I...I know what happened to Allie. I know what caused this." says Charlie

 

Everyone gathers around her, listening closely

 

"You forget that I'm not just a pyrokinetic. I'm also a telepath. My telepathy isn't as powerful as Allie's, but I still got the gist of it." says Charlie

 

"So? Tell us!" says Yun Sook

 

"This creature, this...Thing...it's an extraterrestrial lifeform, an alien organism from outer space bent on world domination. Once it comes in contact with its intended host, it can absorb the DNA of that host and mimic the form of the host to perfection. This Thing is what killed the scientists." says Charlie

 

"Is, is that true?" says Violet

 

"Violet, we saw Doctor Dickinson turn into the Thing in front of our very eyes! We have no reason not to believe this!" says Carrie

 

Everyone else nods in agreement

 

"So, let me get this straight: we are trapped here in this research station, all alone, with a creature that can mimic humans to near perfection, to the point that we won't be able to tell its presence until it's too late. Which means..." says David

 

"...that any one of us could be the Thing in disguise." says Yun Sook

 

As this realization dawn on them, everyone exchanges mistrusting looks.

 

"Look, I'm not an alien creature, I can prove it! My name is Carrieta N. White, I was born in September 21 of-" says Carrie

 

"It's no use. The Thing is telepathic as well. That's why Allie is knocked out; The Thing resisted her with its own telepathy. It can easily gather information on any of us to better mimic us." says Charlie

 

"That's *vulgarity*ing GREAT!" says David as he kicks a neaby monitor in frustation

 

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm watching my *vulgarity*ing back! No alien shapeshifter is gonna sneak up on me, not if I can help it!" says David

 

"Look, we are all very tense after everything that happens, so let's just sit down and chill out until we figure a way out of here! And that's an order!" says Violet

 

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The following night, Jeremy is playing with his Nintendo D/S, when he feels someone creeping behind him.

 

"Who...who's there?" says Jeremy

 

Jeremy turns around, and he's relieved to see a familiar face.

 

"Oh, it's you. Violet says that the radio here is still working, so she'll try to contact someone from help. Hopefully, we'll be rescued in no time! Too bad the computers here don't have internet access, right?" saus Jeremy

 

However, the figure moves closer and closer to Jeremy, its expression downright sinister.

 

"Wait, no! Stop! No, no, noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!" says Jeremy

 

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The following night...

 

"Jeremy, where the hell have you been? We haven't seen you all day! Look We really need to keep tabs on each other if-" says Yun Sook, entering Jeremy's room.

 

However, Yun Sook finds Jeremy lying in a pool of blood, his head severed.

 

"AAAAAAAAAAH! *vulgarity*!" says Yun Sook

 

Suddenly, someone else enters the room.

 

"Thank the gods you are here! Look at what happened to Jeremy! We have to find a way to get out of here, and fast, or else-" says Yun Sook

 

Suddenly, Yun Sook notices something strange about the one next to her...

 

"What...what are you doing with that knife?" says Yun Sook

 

The figure moves closer towards her...

 

"Stop! Stop it! I'll...I'll use my power! I'll grow to giant size,I swear! Don't come any closer!" says Yun Sook

 

However, the figure stabs Yun Sook and rips open her stomach, disemboweling her...

 

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The following night, Violet is using he radio to try and contact anyone for help.

 

"Mayday, mayday! This is Violet Parr of the Alpha Team! I'm in Outpost 42, this is an emergency, we need help! Do you read me, over?" says Violet

 

No response.

 

"I'm in Outpost 42, does anyone read me, over?" says Violet

 

No response.

 

As Violet turns off the radio in frustation, she turns around to see that someone else has entered the room.

 

"About damn time you showed up! Where the hell were you all day? Look, the radio is a no go, so I'm gonna try to go outside and-" says Violet

 

The figures moves closer to Violet.

 

"Wait, what are you doing with that axe?" says Violet

 

The figure moves closer....

 

"Put down that axe! That's an order! Put down that axe right now!" says Violet

 

But it's of no use. The figure axes Violet in the chest, killing her.

 

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And thus, the next day, only Carrie, David and Charlie and left.

 

"So, this is it..." says Carrie

 

"Yes..." says Charlie

 

"We are the only ones left..." says Carrie

 

"Even our leader is gone..." says Charlie

 

"Oh yeah? Well, I think it's obvious what's going on! You have been picking off the team one by one...alien bitch!" says David, pointing at Charlie

 

"What the *vulgarity* are you talking about, David?" says Charlie

 

"Don't think you can fool me! You have been posing as Charlie since day one! Why else would you tell us your plan? It's because you knew that we were doomed, you knew that we were gonna start dropping off like flies! Well, you are not getting me, not without a fight!" says David

 

"David, that's insane! I'm not an alien!" says Charlie

 

"Maybe. Maybe you are. All I know is that most of our team is dead, and someone is responsable! I know all about you. That drug the Shop used to give you, the one who thought was the source of your powers before you found that you are a Changer? It's a psycho serum, an hallucinogen that turns people into raving lunatics! And after your mother died...how do I know that THAT didn't affect you? After what the Shop did to you, you were just a ticking time bomb waiting to go off! Well, I think you just went off!" says David in anger

 

"David, shut the *vulgarity* up!" says Carrie

 

"Oh, you are defending me now? Like you are so pure and noble? You are always bottling up all of your anger, all of your pent-up rage, and you have superpowers. That's just waiting for a murderous rampage to happen! You never went to therapy, never let anyone analyze you, because you thought it just send you down the path to Hell. Well, Hell is already here! You brought Hell to us! All that abuse at the hand of your mother...how could you NOT turn out to be a psychopath?" says Charlie, furious

 

"You *vulgarity*ing bitch! I'm gonna make you pay for saying that!" says Carrie, her anger starting to flow

 

"Not if I kill you both first!" says David

 

"Oh, don't get me started on you! You never did anything decent or moral with your power until the Professor found you! You just used it to rob banks and support your hedonistic lifestyle! You are selish, sarcastic and mean! You are not a hero, you are not noble, you are just a criminal! You always wanted to go back to a life of crime, but you couldn't do that as part of this team! Well, I think this place gave you the perfect opportunity for you to get rid of us! But you are not getting rid of me! I'm going to kill you, I'm going to kill you both!" says Charlie

 

And thus, the three of them, completely overcome by rage and paranoia, go at each others' throats...

 

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So, it's:

 

-Carrie White (from both the book and the movie)

 

-Charlie McGee (from both the book and the movie)

 

-David Rice (from the movie, and the movie ONLY)

 

 

Keep in mind that, according to the setup, either of them could be the Thing in disguise.

 

Who wins?

[Callisto]

Learn More About

Carrie White

Read more about Carrie White at Wikipedia

Official Site: United Artists Links: Carrie Wikipedia page Carrie imdb page Carrie movie review

 

David Rice (Jumper)

Read more about David Rice (Jumper) at Wikipedia

Official Site: Fox Links: Wikipedia Jumper Wiki IMDB

 

Charlie McGee

Read more about Charlie McGee at Wikipedia

Official Site: Stephen King Links: Wikipedia Horror Film Wiki Stephen King Wiki

 

 

[Guest bigballerju]

Good setup and I had no problem with any characters. David Rice wins. He could take out both of them before they even get to attack.

[Peypeypeypey]

This set-up was okay. I had a few problems with it, though. It lacked description. Everything just kind of happened. It isn't "wrong", necessarily, but I felt it could have been a lot better. Also, if this is supposed to be John Carpenter's the Thing, it shouldn't use any weapons. If I remember that movie right, it always eat the people, or somehow infects their bodies or something. It doesn't really use weapons. Overall, I'll give it a "C"

 

And I don't really know the characters, so I have no idea who wins.

[Guest ninjaman1848]

I love the idea of thus set up. I mean the whole " who is the killer" thing and that they turn on eachother in the end. I love the suspence nice setup man. As for the match I have only seen Carrie so I don't know wins

[Guest sirmethos]

David Rice wins. He could take out both of them before they even get to attack.

 

That goes for Charlie as well. It only takes a thought from her to completely incinerate a person(or multiple persons for that matter).

 

 

As for the setup, the technical aspect is good. I didn't spot any spelling or grammatical errors.

 

The characterizations are way off though.

 

I haven't graded it yet(and can't be arsed doing it right now), but I'd give it a "C".

[C.T.]

I'm pretty sure that David Rice isn't the Thing. Since they all seem to have their powers and presumably one of them is the Thing...well, if it was David, it can be long gone from outpost 42...

 

As for the match...no clue.

[Guest Redemption X]

Also, if this is supposed to be John Carpenter's the Thing, it shouldn't use any weapons. If I remember that movie right, it always eat the people, or somehow infects their bodies or something. It doesn't really use weapons.

 

 

 

In the original short story "Who Goes There?", the one that "The Thing" is heavily based on, The Thing tries to use an axe on the scientists as soon as it infects one of the people there.

 

And in the Dark Horse Comics continuation of the movie (called "The Thing From Another World"), as soon as the Thing infects one of the Navy SEALS, it uses an assault rifle against both the SEALS and MacReady (and blows up an helicopter with said assault rifle).

 

So yes, the Thing does use weapons.

[Guest Redemption X]

 

The characterizations are way off though.

 

 

How so?

[Guest Shoggoth breeder]

Good setup, I'm always a fan of things involving the Thing. A few spelling & grammatical errors but nothing too serious. It could have been fleshed out a bit more though.

 

As for the match I don't know who'd win.

[Peypeypeypey]

Well then, I stand corrected, I guess. Doesn't change much, though

[Guest M.O.B. (-Man of Battle-)]

If Charlie goes full fury then nothing can touch her. Carrie would have to kill Charlie. Then David kills Carrie.

 

And David wins!

[DSkillz]

I didn't want to go this route, but...

 

Redemption X, please answer your PM.

[Guest Redemption X]

One thing that dissapoints me about the comments is that everyone pretty much assumes that all three of them are human.

 

The match is written in a way that makes it ambigous wether either of them are the Thing in disguise, so this match is supposed to make you wonder if any of them is the Thing in disguise.

 

Assuming that all three of them are human is the wrong way to go. Remember, The Thing is out there, and is preying on the characters, so I really hope to see more comments that wonder if any of them is infected by the Thing.

[Peypeypeypey]

One thing that dissapoints me about the comments is that everyone pretty much assumes that all three of them are human.

 

The match is written in a way that makes it ambigous wether either of them are the Thing indisguise, so this match is supposed to make you wonder if any of them is the Thing in disguise.

 

Assuming that all three of them are human is the wrong way to go. Remember, The Thing is out there, and is preying on the characters, so I really hope to see more comments that wonder if ay of them is infected by the Thing.

 

See, I really like that idea, but there's nothing to go off of, because we didn't know what any of the other people were doing when the Thing was murdering people. It could be any of them. And I know that's the point, but there's literally no way of telling who it is, so it's just whoever you want to be

[C.T.]

I already said I'm pretty sure it's not David Rice, as they seem to have their powers and since all the Thing wants to do is leave...it'd be a dumbass to still be here.

[Guest bigballerju]

Nothing in the setup gives a hint that either of them are Thing in disguise so thats why people are gone assume its human.

[Guest Shoggoth breeder]

Filler

[Guest Shoggoth breeder]

One thing that dissapoints me about the comments is that everyone pretty much assumes that all three of them are human.

 

The match is written in a way that makes it ambigous wether either of them are the Thing in disguise, so this match is supposed to make you wonder if any of them is the Thing in disguise.

 

Assuming that all three of them are human is the wrong way to go. Remember, The Thing is out there, and is preying on the characters, so I really hope to see more comments that wonder if any of them is infected by the Thing.

 

Well there aren't any clues pointing to which one of them is the Thing, so I can't pick one. But if you wanted us to guess then I pick Charlie. If Carrie was the creature then Charlie's telepathy would have detected something or she would have gone into a coma like Allie. Though if you intended for this story to have a traditional happy ending I'd have to pick Carrie as the Thing, you don't seem the type.

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

USER RATINGS

B

C

B

B Match wasn't bad' but the writing was a bit lacking.

SCORE

Carrie White: 1

David Rice (Jumper): 15

Charlie McGee: 3

FPA: 2.8