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Match 13077 Chuck E. Cheese vs. The Hamburglar


Confession FPT
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DECEMBER WRITING CHALLENGE ENTRY! – CHUCK E CHEESE vs THE HAMBURGLAR! BEGIN!

Chuck E Cheese and his band performed for the rambunctious children and their miserable parents, singing some gay ass cover of “Splish Spash, Taking a Bathâ€. Those kids ran around in circles, not paying attention to the happenings on stage. They were only concerned with prizes and pizza.

 

The look of happiness on Chuckie’s face was obviously forced, as he tried not to explode profanities at his audience. They didn’t appreciate art. They didn’t appreciate what he was trying to do for them. They. Didn’t. Get it.

 

The song ended and the curtain closed.

 

“F--k!†Chuckie yelled as he kicked over Pasqually’s bass drum, “Those little bastards!â€

 

Helen Henny put her wing on his sholder and tried to calm her boyfriend down, “Chuckie, don’t, we still have to play ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ in 15, don’t get worked up.â€

 

“Calm? Calm?!†Chuckie exploded and slapped her hand away, “ How can I stay calm when the new guy can’t hit any of his ques!?â€

 

“Calm de hell down, Chuck!†Jasper T. Jowls pushed him, “You ain’t been actin’ right since Munchy done overdosed, don’t take it out on ‘Elen. Maybe its bout time we y’all took a break.â€

 

“A break? A break!? We don’t need a ‘break’ we need the new guy to get his shit together! You hear that tubby? Get it right! You listening Grimace the Menace?†Chuckie blew up at their new keyboard player.

 

“I’m sorry Mr. Cheese,†Grimace said out of breath, “Its just been so long since I ate somethin’.â€

 

“Ate? Ate?! You just had a full pizza that was supposed to be for everybody! Aren’t you full you fat pile of shit!â€

 

“Maybe if I could get a milkshake…â€

 

Chuckie smacked him across the face, “We don’t have milkshakes! Have some Pepsi! Its free.â€

 

“But, uh,†Grimace began, “I like Coke…â€

 

He got another slap for his troubles, “You fat f—k! Why are you such a greedy little bitch! You are so lucky that you fit the image of our band, or I swear, I would rip your arms off and beat you with them!â€\

 

“Now Chuckie..†Helen tried to step in.

 

“Don’t ‘Now Chuckie’ me!†he pushed her over, “He’s doing this not me!â€

 

Then from the shadows on the brick wall, a voice came, “Good to see you again, Grimaceâ€

 

“I do not have time for this shit!†the mouse threw his ball cap on the ground, “We have five minuets until we go back on! Who’s there!?â€

 

“I am the father that takes the pickles off your McDouble when you aren’t looking…†the mysterious man said.

 

“I don’t have time for this!†he exploded.

 

“I am the girlfriend who that sneaks your last fry when she orders a salad…†it continued.

 

“GAWDDAMMIT!â€

 

“I am-!†the figure was cut off.

 

“Boy Hamburglar! I sure am glad to think of you!†Grimace shouted and ran toward his old friend.

 

“Grimace, you ruined my entrance!†the Hamburglar yelled as he palmed the purple creature in the face, I was being mysterious and junk!â€

 

Grimace rubbed his forehead, “I sure did miss you! I haven’t seen you in years and years and years!â€

 

Suddenly there was a slow clapping coming from the mouse, “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the clown’s little helper, the Spamburglar. Whatchu doin’ backstage, bud? You lost?â€

 

“Nope, I am exactly where I need to be and doing what I need to be doing,†he held his cape in front of his face.

 

“Oh? And what is that?†Chuckie snorted.

 

“Getting my friend back, come on, Grimace, lets go,†he turned to leave but was interrupted.

 

“I’m sorry,†Chuckie put Grimace in a headlock, “He’s not going anywhere. He signed a contract with us. He is going to be a famous keyboard player in the most popular band in the world, even if he sucks at it. He’s going to be here a looooong time. And you,†Pasqually and Jowls grabbed the Hamburglar by his elbows, “aren’t going to leave here in one piece.â€

 

“So that’s how we’re playing?†Hamburglar shot the mouse a sly smile, “Fine.â€

 

Hamburglar stomped on the toe of Pasqually and head butted him in the abdomen. Jowls reached for his acoustic guitar and tried to hit Hamburglar over the head with it, El Ka-bong stlye.

 

But the Hamburglar ducked the foreign object and gave the southern dog a monsterous uppercut.

 

A look of shock flashed over Chuckie’s face as a voice over the intercom announced, “Get ready kids! Your favorite mouse is back to play some of your favorite tunes! Here he is Chuck E Cheese and the Chuck E Cheese Band!â€

 

The curtain began to open as the Hamburglar lunged at Chuckie and tackled him into the assembly of children. Helen and all the little children screamed as the two “kid-friendlyâ€, fast food icons rolled through tables and strollers and swung on each other.

 

Chuckie ended up on top, “You’re out of your league, bud, I got the home play house advantage!â€

 

***

 

So the battle for Grimace’s soul is being decided here and now. The two mascots will have to battle through the crowd of kids and beat up their parents as the adults try to pull the colorful character off each other.

 

They will battle in a ball pit, on the top of the slide, throw skiball balls at heach other, and can use any of the prizes, food, or kitchen utensils to fight each other. Imagine a Family Guy Chicken Fight, except in an Chuck E Cheeses.

 

So who is more powerful? The Rodent Rockatar? Or the Burger-Crazed Burglar? Who wins, how do they win? Whats up? Feel free to vote, comment, debate, ya know, whatever floats your boat. Thanks for reading. :)

 

Confession FPT Enter your Set-Up for the match here. This is your post - it belongs to you - and you may use the EDIT function at any time in the future to update this post.

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Hah! :D Okay, this is interesting! Good set-up, Confession.

 

I think Chuck's got this due to him being on his hometurf, and therefore having much more experience with the surroundings (ball pits, fun mazes, skee-balls, pizza cutters, etc.) that can be deadly with that experience and in the right hands. Hamburglar may run into the occasional ball pit or playground, but any McDonald's restaurants that have those features are few and far between. Chuck has been around these things his entire career.

 

Heh, a lot of my character adds are being used this week.

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It's about time someone else posted an entry! As for the match, you get an A from me.

Thank you sir :D

I was actually leaning towards Hamburglar, with the way be broke out of a two-man hold, and then whooped them both.

I have no idea why I made him such a hardass xD I don't even like him that much. He's probably that tough because he's spent time in the joint.

Hah!Okay, this is interesting! Good set-up, Confession.

I'm glad you challenged me to do this. This is prolly one of the cooler things I ever wrote. Thanks.

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