Match 13109 Flo, The Progressive Girl vs. Mayhem (Allstate)

[Peypeypeypey]

Mayhem vs. Flo

 

Tony the Tiger raced through the streets, his enormous body crashing into trash cans and streetlamps as he looked back to see if the man was still following him. He ignored whatever pain he felt, charging forward undeterred, knowing that if he stopped, even for a moment, the man would catch up to him. Then there’d be no escape. Tony took a peek back, seeing the vague silhouette of the man creeping forward slowly. As Tony turned his head forward, he slammed his right shoulder into a powerline, spinning his body around and causing him to crash to the hard pavement.

 

 

“I’m a crazy redneck.†Scoffed the man behind him, stepping under a streetlamp to reveal a messy head of hair, small, beady eyes, and a wicked smile. Tony struggled to his as the man reached behind his back and pulled out a shotgun, bringing it in front of him and taking aim quickly. “I’ve had a few too many to drink,†he continued, squeezing the trigger and sending several pellets through the tiger’s spine. Tony let out a primitive roar and collapsed to the ground, a pool of blood forming at the base of his spine. “But I still never miss.†The man calmly walked up to the tiger, stepping on his throat as the tiger flailed helplessly.

“Please,†Tony gasped, weakly moving his hands to the heavy boot on his throat. “I can... Pay...†he managed to get out between heavy breaths. This only made the man’s smile grow and he chuckled, pumping the shotgun and placing the barrel right between the tiger’s eyes.

“You should have stuck will Allstate.â€

 

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The next day, the bloodied, battered body of the tiger was left at the foot of the main Kellogs office. A crowd of cereal mascots gathered around, shocked and horrified that Tony, of all people, had been taken down. Buzz the bee flew up to the mangled corpse and grabbed a piece of paper left on the animal.

 

“You should get...†Buzz read out loud, sobbing softly to himself before he got himself together. “Allstate... And protect yourself from Mayhem...†Buzz put the note back on the body, “Like me...â€

 

“Everybody step back!†A booming voice demanded. The crowd murmured quietly to each other while they parted, forming a path leading to the body. The person, a woman in a trench coat and jeans, with sunglasses covering her face, stepped forward. She picked up the note and read it to herself, crumpling the paper and tossing it to the side. After a few moments, she took off her sunglasses, a serious stare in her eyes. “He’s at it again.â€

 

“Thank you, Flo, but I think I’ll take this one.†A slightly British accent called behind her. She turned to see the tiny face of the Geico Gecko, also behind sunglasses. She chuckled and turned back towards the body.

 

“Well, look who it is.†She laughed. “Finally back, are you? Where were you for the past five years?â€

 

“Y’know, traveling the world. Finding myself.†He turned to the street, looking at the various homeless mascots that were polluting the area. Mascots that had been famous for decades when he left, like Snap, Crackle and Pop, and Buzz the bee, were now cast onto the street, holding signs and begging for spare change. The city stunk of piss and litter, and everyone looked beaten and mistreated. He turned back to Flo.

 

“What happened here?†He asked, pointing towards the down on their luck mascots. “A few years ago, this was a paradise. Now everyone looks miserable.†Flo almost laughed at the Gecko’s ignorance. It seemed like such a stupid question to her, but it did make sense, as he was gone when it all happened. Flo motioned towards a small coffee shop across the street.

 

The two sat on opposite side of a table next to a window. The Geico Gecko looked out over the city as Flo took a sip of her coffee, sighing deeply before beginning her story. “You see,†She began, gathering the Gecko’s attention instantly, “About a year after you left, Allstate began to rise in power. More and more people started trusting them with their lives, and our business took a serious hit.†Flo put her coffee on the table and stared out the window. “After a while, we all went out of business. Progressive, State Farm, even Geico, until no one was left but Allstate. And when this happened, he became unstoppable...†She again picked up her coffee, taking a long drink as the Gecko pondered who “he†was.

 

“He? Y’mean, Mayhem?†The Gecko asked. Flo shuddered at the mention of his name.

 

“Yeah... Him.†She put down her drink, a serious expression overtaking her face. “As we shrunk in power, he grew. Over time, it seemed like no one could stop him. That’s why I went off the record.†She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small badge. The Gecko inspected it for a brief second, reading out loud “Esurance officialâ€.

 

“I don’t understand. Esurance?†The Gecko asked.

 

“After Allstate took over the industry, Esurance started a secret operation to take down Mayhem. After 4 years of training, several of the insurance mascots and I spread out. Now, we’re all trying to take him do-â€

At that moment, Flo saw a red dot appear right on the Gecko’s temple. She dove forward just a second too slowly, a bullet zooming through the animal’s tiny skull. The lifeless body fell forward onto the table before being knocked backwards by Flo’s attempt to save him.

“Dammit!†She screamed, looking to the building adjacent to her to see find the murderer.

Several floors up, Mayhem smirked, putting his sniper rifle away. “I’m the most powerful man in the world.†He mocked, “ I can kill anyone you talk to, and if you try to stop me, I’ll kill you, too. You need to get Allstate...â€

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So, it's Flo, with training from Erin Esurance, vs. Mayhem, with whatever equipment he has from his various scenarios. Can Flo put an end to his reign, or will Mayhem continue to rule over with an iron fist?

[Callisto]

Learn More About

Flo, The Progressive Girl

Read more about Flo, The Progressive Girl at Wikipedia

Official Site: Progressive Insurance Links: Wikipedia Austin360 NYSE Magazine

 

Mayhem (Allstate)

Read more about Mayhem (Allstate) at Wikipedia

Official Site: Allstate Links: Wikipedia TVAcres.com The New York Times

 

 

[Peypeypeypey]

Definitely not my best, but I got something done, at least. Any comments would be appreciated.

[DSkillz]

Good set-up, pey. Mayhem seems even more insane here than he does in his commercials, and that's a good thing. One thing, though: Buzz Bee is actually a General Mills Mascot.

 

The CBUB debut of Flo! Too bad that even with some training from Erin, she's outmatched here. It's Mayhem's specialty to take loads of damage and take on various roles in order to show what Alllstate covers. Maybe Erin Esurance herself would stand a better chance here.

 

If an arc is made from this, one twist it could take is that, in real life, Allstate actually owns Esurance.

[DamagingRob]

Yeah, I don't think Flo can pull this off. Tony the Tiger keeps making appearances. Heh.

[Peypeypeypey]

Good set-up, pey. Mayhem seems even more insane here than he does in his commercials, and that's a good thing. One thing, though: Buzz Bee is actually a General Mills mascot

Heh. Didn't even think about that. Thanks for the info.

EDIT: Also, I have no intention of turning this into an arc

[Callisto]

Match Final Results

USER RATINGS

A

B Good battle of the mascots.

SCORE

Flo, The Progressive Girl: 7

Mayhem (Allstate): 18

FPA: 3.5

 

[Peypeypeypey]

Woo! Rank 1! 1337 status!

[DSkillz]

Heh, looks like someone else is catching up to Rob.

 

Congrats, 4pey.

[Guest Dinsdale Piranha]

Maybe Mayhem should take on the winner of the rumble between the World's Interesting Man and the Man Your Man Could Smell Like. Those guys are clearly not concerned enough about insurance.