Dark Spider-man Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Chapter 1: http://www.electricf...showtopic=29883 Chapter 2: http://www.electricf...showtopic=29950 Contuation of Chapter 3: http://www.electricferret.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=30026 CHAPTER 3: JOIN FORCES “Will you stand still!†Yelled Van Helsing while he attempted a neck slash toward Zorro, who ducked from the attack. Zorro laughed at his opponents frustration. Van Helsing can’t believe this, he was actually being toyed with by this acrobat Caped Crusader. Zorro kept Helsing at bay as he jabbed his sword forward in an attempt to thrust Van Helsing in his chest, The Monster killer blocked with one of his razors, clinging the tip point of Zorro’s blade between two sharp edges. Helsing yanked and Zorro’s sword flew pass Van Helsing and fell behind him. Zorro, stepped back a bit but not accepting defeat. Van swung for a diagonally left slash but Zorro arched his back and dodged the attack, Helsing tried for an X like slash across the chest with both spinning razors at the same time, but Zorro grabs the Hunter’s wrists, and with a nice side kick to the chest, Helsing is sent flying backwards to the ground. Zorro bent the knees and moved his upper body just a bit forward and front flipped over the fallen Helsing, Zorro transformed the flip in to a roll up front flip and gripped his sword, he stood up quickly and made a Z on Helsing coat on his back. “Now you’ve been marked, amigo.†Zorro chuckled and Helsing responded “This is my favorite coat!†He swung back and Zorro ducked and with a nice jab with his blade struck Helsing in his left shoulder. The Hunter winces back and threw his right razor like a Frisbee. Zorro bents his knees once more and arched his back, he back flipped and razor barely cut his cape as he back flipped the razor passed him. As Zorro landed, Helsing used his strength against Zorro, knowing that Zorro is more agile, Van tackled the Masked Hero in the waistline, with a mighty spear. The back of Zorro’s head hits the hard cement, which made him dazed, Helsing places his razor to Zorro’s neck, victorious over de la Vega. “If you ever get in my way, whoever you are. I will see to it that you do not exist anymore.†CLICK CLICK “not if I have anything to say about it.†Sawyer woke from his sleeping dart slumber, still drenched in blood from where he fell. He placed a pistol to the back of Helsings head. “Get up, slowly.†Helsing, looks down at Zorro and with his speed, he swings back with his other razor he picked up and had one to Sawyers throat and kept the other to Zorro’s. “I sense no evil in any of you. So, I will let you both go. Do not follow me.†Helsing began to slowly get up until he hears a hissing sound behind him. “Helsing….let them go.†The Hunter looks over his shoulder toward Mina Harker. “Ah….what are you?†He replied. “You do not remember me, but I understand. It was some years ago, when it happened.†Mina stood there, patiently while Zorro and Sawyer walked by her side. “We mean you no harm. If you come with us, we will show you that Mr. Hyde is innocent from killing that poor woman.†The three League members waited for his response, Van Helsing didn’t know what to do, to either trust these strangers or not. So he wondered, played the whole situation in his head. From Zorro’s fighting he wasn’t trying to kill Helsing and come to think of it, neither was Hyde when they fought. He played both fights in his head before he answered. “Hm….how do I know this isn’t a trick?†Mina walked forward in front of Helsing. She grabbed his hand and placed it over her dead heart, Helsing’s hues kept focus on Mina’s. “Because if we was here to kill you, I’d would have done it myself.†He stepped back and Van nods his head in agreement not understanding how she can’t have a heartbeat. “Fine, but we meet in front of the church.†Mina nodded her head after discussing the time to meet. The three walk back to the Nautilus. Dr. Jekyll looks at his right forearm, seeing it half cut off. He looks to Hyde in the mirror. “You stupid creature.†Hyde grumbles at Dr. Jekyll, knowing that his other half was right. Mina walked in with Zorro and Sawyer. Dr. Jekyll began to apologize to the entire team. “I’m extremely sorry. I thought it was liquor, but Hyde switched it. The brute is strong but is smart as I am. I’m….so sorry.†Dr. Watson placed his hand on Jekyll’s shoulder. “Van Helsing wants us to meet with him at the church. I know, being what I am, I can’t step in to the temple. So I’ll stay outside, until your conversation with him is over.†Mina stated to the team. Her eyes shifted low. The Detective, Sherlock Holmes puffs out smoke from his cigar. “But Ms. Harker you are the only one that may be able convince him that we are not the bad guys. You are the only one who knows him. Though he said the church he didn’t say inside the church. Meaning we can still decide where to meet. Around, behind, in front, over the bridge, etc.†The team knows that Sherlock brought up a good point. Hours pass and they’re finally making their way to the meeting with Van, via vehicle. They stop in front of the church and looks at its beauty and how big it is. Dr. Jekyll wasn’t with them and neither was Nemo and Dr. Watson who is helping the Doctor back at the Nautilus. Sherlock, Quatermain, Harker, Sawyer, Holmes, Skinner, and Zorro went to meet Helsing. Quatermain and Sawyer step inside and asks for The Hunter. A priest goes to the underground weaponry lab to get him. Helsing: “I remember putting you to sleep, but who is the old man.†Sawyer: “This is….†Quatermain: “Allan Quatermain, the one who you will teach you how to show your elders respect.†Helsing: “I bit of a fight in you old man.†Sawyer: “He really hates to be called that.†Quatermain: “He doesn’t care, lad. He’s wanted us to come to picks a fight with us.†Helsing: “Actually, no. For some reason, the woman. She looks familiar.†Sawyer: “You mean Mina. She’s outside, waiting for us to get you.†The three walk outside to meet up with Mina, Holmes, Skinner, and Zorro. Helsing notices Holmes from his reputation. Helsing: “You’re with them?†Holmes: “Yes, I am. So they’re obviously the good gentlemen and lady.†Sherlock began to explain Dr. Jekyll’s innocence. Holmes: “I looked at the body and from what I can tell, her neck was snapped.†Helsing: “Okay and?†Holmes: “And there was no DNA on her whatsoever. So the killer must of use gloves. Name place anywhere in London where that have gloves that sizes of carriage wheels. Hyde is innocent but I think I know who did it but it just isn’t his style of killing.†Helsing: “Who?†Holmes: “He goes by a few nicknames.†Van Helsing nudged his head behind him. “Let us go inside and talk.†The Vampire lowered her head and responded. “I cannot. For….what I am.†Van folds his arms at her words as she continued but is interrupted. “I’m a vamp…..†Skinner finished what she said. “She’s a vampire. Has fangs the sizes of tiger claws, and skin as pale as my makeup.†The entire team and Helsing looks at Skinner, giving him the shut up look. Skinner shrugs his shoulders and responds to the look. “Ah, sorry.†Helsing slowly unfolded his arms at the surprise at what she is. “Impossible. This can’t be coincidence.†The team looked toward Helsing after he stated those words. The Hunter began to pace back and forth. “A hero team, with a vampire. I believe we were meant to meet.†Helsing begins to explain. “I just got word that Prince Velkan and his sister, Princess Anna is in need of help of stopping someone named Dracula.†“He’s still alive?!†Replied a shocked Harker. Helsing nods his head while replying to her. “Yes, you know him?†Helsing lowered his eyebrows in focus to Mina. She began to explain. “Yes. Some years ago. My husband and I, along with you stopped Dracula. He must have somehow returned.†Van placed his head down as he rubs his forehead as he tries to remember. “I can’t remember how long ago it was?†He asked her, but all she could do was stay silent for a few moments. “Maybe, eighty years ago or more.†The Hunter’s eyes widened in shock from Mina’s words. He rubbed his forehead and sighed. “Alright…alright so he changed you I’m assuming.†Mina nodded her head at Helsing’s response. “He must be stopped, at all costs.†said Helsing. Quatermain, placed his hand on Van’s shoulder. “And we will help. Join us and we will tell you everything that has happened.†The Hunter, knew now for a fact he can trust them. MEANWHILE IN TRANSYLVANIA Dracula staring down at a unconscious body. “Tell me, Igor. What of his health?†He replies to his master. “He is still strong enough, but his mind is powerful to control, master. He is much like his father, a strong willed being.†Dracula snatched Igor by his throat and lifting him up with ease. “I do not want to know about strong will! I want his mind controlled! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!†Dracula’s fangs showed as if ready to devour Igor’s skinny throat. Igor nodded his head as he gasped for air. Dracula dropped his servant and moved a bane behind his left ear. “Good.†Three moaning cries are heard behind Dracula. His wives Aleera, Verona, and Marishka run to their husband and hugs him close, he engulfs them in his arms, hugging his wives. “My love, lord Dracula. Will our babies ever live?†Asked Verona. “We are so deeply sad, my love!†added Marishka. “Help us, darling. Help us to overcome this sadness.†Aleera stated. Dracula responded to his wives. “Come my loves, we will one day have beautiful children.†The enter a massive coffin and became frozen in it. Hours have passed as Dracula and his three wives await for their personal dog. Wolf-Man bows to his master. “Tonight we feed.†The Wolf-Man howled and leaped off the ledge as Dracula and his wives turned and began to fly. They terrorized the small city. Blood stains the Transylvanian streets, on this cold night. Dracula, held his wives close as they enjoyed the smell of blood. Wolf-Man began to sniff the air, with a loud growl. He ran toward the scent. Dracula responded to his wives. “Return to the castle.†They obey their husband. Dracula followed Wolf-Man who has the escaped Frankenstein corned. Wolf-Man walking slowly on all fours was about to leap and attack the monster until Dracula shouted. “NO!†The Wolf-Man looks behind him and bowed once more to Dracula. The Original Vampire looked toward the cornered monster. “I will not help your vile creatures live! I will kill myself before you can use me!†Frankenstein stood his ground as Dracula chuckled. With his speed he grabs the monsters throat and busting Frankenstein through the wall behind him. “No, you will have no choice.†Dracula digs in his coat and takes out a needle. He slams in to Frankenstein’s forehead and now his mind is controlled by the chemical that Igor made. The Frankenstein Monster stood up and stated. “What is you bidding, my master.†Dracula smiled wickedly. BACK IN LONDON “Wow, so you’re all trying to save the world. Dracula is the bigger threat than Moriarty is. He knows about Mina then he definitely knows about Dracula or that he possibly might still be alive.†Helsing stood up and bowed slightly. “I accept.†Van Helsing knew he must join The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Quatermain shook the hand of Helsing then responded. “Welcome to the team, lad. We make way to Transylvania.†In the night hours, Sherlock is outside enjoying his cigar, he lets out a smoking circle from his mouth. His best friend Watson stepped outside and stated to Holmes. Dr. Watson: “I was looking allover for you in this sea city called Nautilus. Thing is as big as London.†Holmes chuckles a bit but kept silent. Dr. Watson: “What’s wrong, Holmes.†Holmes: “I’m leaving them to his demise. I should be staying.†Dr. Watson: “Yeah, I know. You have been on that case for a while now. Since the government took you off, do they know your secretly still going after him when they told you to go after Moriarty?†Holmes: “No, they didn’t. I was going after both of them. That’s why I had little sleep. Both are extremely smart. Moriarty knows how to hide in public while the other well….he’s just like Moriarty but like to get his hands dirty. Instead of world war, he likes the satisfaction of killing and is bloody good at leaving no finger prints or DNA.†Dr. Watson: “We’ll find him, Holmes.†Holmes lowers his head and takes his cigar out of his mouth. He looks toward Watson and responded. Holmes: “How? How can we find Jack The Ripper when we’re in Transylvania? Just disturbing that’s all. Come on, Watson.†The Best Friend Duo steps back inside the Nautilus after it just took off. Sherlock and Watson found Nemo and stated. “Sorry Captain. But I must stay. Watson can tag along with you.†Dr. Watson shook his head and adding on to what Sherlock said. “I’m staying with Holmes. Once we find Jack The Ripper, we’ll meet up with you in Transylvania.†Nemo understood perfectly. Nemo gathered the team together so Sherlock and Watson can explain why their leaving. They take the escape boat and heads back to the shore of London. DAYS LATER IN TRANSYLVANIA Anna: “Well, isn’t this a surprise. Professor Van Helsing. The amazing Monster Hunter. Your reputation precedes you. Ah, the legendary Allan Quatermain, the greatest marksmen in London. But as for the rest, I do not know of you.†Sawyer: “Secret Agent Sawyer, of America.†Zorro: “Zorro, protector and servant of the people of California.†Dr. Jekyll: “Dr. Jekyll. Creator of Mr. Hyde.†Anna: “Where is your monster? I have heard of him.†Dr. Jekyll: “You’ll see him, eventually.†Skinner: “Rodney Skinner at your service, beautiful. Invisible Man you can call me.†Mina: “I’m Mina Harker, widow of John Harker.†Anna: “Impossible you’d be over eighty years old.†Mina: “Put the puzzles together, darling. You should figure it out what I am, sooner than you think.†Anna: “Why?†Helsing: “Because three is coming straight behind you, duck!†Anna ducked and Helsing opens fire with his cross bows on the three Vampire Queens. They sensed another like them “Another is among us, Marishka kill her!†She flies toward Mina who also transforms with bats around her and took off in to the air. The two vampire’s collide. Though, Mina looked very different than the other three, Dracula felt her presence also as he watches his brides from a far. Igor stated to Dracula. “My lord, the machine is not yet ready for Frankenstein.†Dracula smirked. “Bring him here.†Nemo ran to the automobile and took out a massive suitcase. “Jekyll! Come here!†The Doctor ran to the Captain’s side. He opened the large briefcase and looked to Jekyll. “For when you turn and right now is a good time.†Stated The Captain of the Nautilus. Dr. Jekyll looked at his present. “Amazing.†He took a sip of his serum and Aleera picked up the Doctor and slammed him through a wall of a barn, while he’s turning. A CLINK CLINK is heard as if attaching something to him. Stepping out of the hole in the wall was Mr Hyde with a mechanical arm. “My turn, deary.†Hyde, leaped and jumped to Aleera but Hyde is tackled in the waistline by Wolf-Man. Hyde gripped him by his throat, head butts him then tossed him off. The Wolf-Man back flips and landed next to Dracula. “You think, you are able to stop me?†Dracula laughed after his statement. Helsing was looking at the monster to Dracula’s right, Frankenstein. The motionless face of the monster looks back toward him. PARAGRAPH ELEVEN“I’ll save you.†Stated Helsing, sensing no evil in the monster but control. Dracula smiles toward Mina, wickedly. “Ah, Mina so good to see you again after all these years….†She hissed at his words and he looks toward Van Helsing. “Shall we dance again, Gabriel?†Helsing lowers his hues. “If I did kill you before, I’ll do it again.†The fight begins. THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN (minus Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson) with Anna Valerious and 20 of Nemo’s men, also Hyde has a mechanical arm thanks to Nemo. VsDracula(Van Helsing 2004 version), Aleera, Marishka, Verona, Frankenstein(Van Helsing 2004 version), and Wolf-Man(Van Helsing 2004 version) (This is the third chapter of my arc. Sorry for any typos and hope you all enjoyed the read.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Callisto Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Learn More AboutGabriel Van HelsingRead more about Gabriel Van Helsing at WikipediaOfficial Site: Universal Pictures Links: Van Helsing Wikipedia page Van Helsing imdb page Van Helsing official site The League of Extraordinary GentlemenRead more about The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen at WikipediaOfficial Site: DC Comics - Wildstorm Imprint Links: Wikipedia Entry - The League Archive.org - Annotations The League Foundation Anna ValeriousRead more about Anna Valerious at WikipediaOfficial Site: Universal Studios Links: Wikipedia Van Helsing Vankia Aiode DraculaRead more about Dracula at WikipediaOfficial Site: Estate Of Bram Stoker Links: Wikipedia: Dracula CBUB: Buffy versus Dracula The Marvel Universe Appendix: Dracula FrankensteinRead more about Frankenstein at WikipediaOfficial Site: Public Domain Links: Wikipedia NLM Frankenstein Exhibit Mary Shelley's Dream The Wolf ManRead more about The Wolf Man at WikipediaOfficial Site: Universal Studios Links: Wikipedia IMDb Lon Chaney.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest khoi Posted January 12, 2013 Share Posted January 12, 2013 Team 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Spider-man Posted January 12, 2013 Author Share Posted January 12, 2013 Thanks for commenting khoi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bigballerju Posted January 13, 2013 Share Posted January 13, 2013 Excellent setup and great job on the villains for this part of your story Team one wins. Hyde can definitely beat Wolfman, Mina can beat Dracula with help from Helsing, and the rest of the League can handle the others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dinsdale Piranha Posted January 13, 2013 Share Posted January 13, 2013 What version of the big three monsters are these? The literary versions of Dracula and Frankenstein are very different from the Universal movie versions, are different from the Hammer movie versions are different from the (lame) VanHelsing versions. I don't want to sound as if I'm prejudiced against the (lame) VanHelsing versions... but I am The movie felt like the producers said, "Hey, we really love the classic Universal horror movies and we'd really like to do a new movie that revamps what they did with House of Dracula and House of Frankenstein, but with modern sfx and a monster-hunter character. Only... we'd also like to ignore any continuity with the books or anything Universal has previously done, and change the classic characters by removing everything that made them special, and adding a lot of Anne rice-ish stuff, and lots of explosions and completely random stuff and..." I really wanted to like that movie and had high hopes for it... [/rant] Anyway, the monsters are badly outnumbered, but may have a chance, depending on what versions we're talking about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dinsdale Piranha Posted January 13, 2013 Share Posted January 13, 2013 Never mind... you already said. Sorry about the rant. I am not a fan of the Van Helsing movie (could you tell?) but IMO putting it together with the LXG movie makes a lot of sense. It's a good new chapter. Okay, Frankenstein from VanHelsing seemed clumsy and not particularly strong. He was bigger than a human but not nearly as big, let alone as strong or fast as Dracula in demon bat form or Wolfman. I honestly don't remember him doing anything useful in a fight scene. Hyde vs. Wolfman is a good match. I don't think either of them will easily beat the other.The Brides of Dracula are powerful but Anna and the League should be able to handle them, especially if Sawyer and Quatermain have loaded silver bullets (have they?) and if you're allowing Zorro to use the special sword Justine (it's mentioned in the Tops Comics series and the Isabel Allende novel and is made from a special alloy of iron and silver which will probably hurt vampires.) That leaves VanHelsing and Mina to fight Dracula. I think he can escape the situation, but I don't think he can win. The League takes this and the brides are toast. It's likely Dracula can escape, and possible the Wolf Man will as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leroypowell3 Posted January 13, 2013 Share Posted January 13, 2013 The good guys win again. Dracula will be the biggest threat but with Van Helsing on the team they'll overcome him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Spider-man Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 Thanks baller! The good Doctor can do it but Moran knows him now.l s he might even it smarter this time around. Thank you, Dinsdale! I don't like the movie much ether but I do like how Dracula and and the Wolf-Man are portrayed in the film. Helsing as a werewolf he looked pretty cool. Thanks for the comment Leroy and yes the good doctor did but Moran is a Colonel so he might play it smarter this time around since he knows Watson a bit. I took Holmes out of his element to make it even and from the comments it looks like I did the right thing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Spider-man Posted January 14, 2013 Author Share Posted January 14, 2013 Sorry for the mistakes replying on my phone sucks. > Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DSkillz Posted January 16, 2013 Share Posted January 16, 2013 I've been reading your arc through, Dark SM. You're doing a good job at the storytelling and battle elements, but you're still not keeping your matches in a consistent tense. I can't really comment much on who'd win in these matches since I've only seen parts of the LoEG movie, but I'll still keeping reading because I like where the story's going. EDIT: Kind of late, but title edited. Frankenstein is the name of the scientist that invented the monster, not the monster himself. His monster never had a name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Spider-man Posted January 16, 2013 Author Share Posted January 16, 2013 I've been reading your arc through, Dark SM. You're doing a good job at the storytelling and battle elements, but you're still not keeping your matches in a consistent tense. I can't really comment much on who'd win in these matches since I've only seen parts of the LoEG movie, but I'll still keeping reading because I like where the story's going. EDIT: Kind of late, but title edited. Frankenstein is the name of the scientist that invented the monster, not the monster himself. His monster never had a name. I type fast and re-read and try to use more "past" tense but I'm use to just present tense. I know that the monster doesn't have a name and that Frankenstein is the maker of the monster. But the monster goes by "The Frankenstein Monster" so typing "The Frankenstein Monster" every time I write him in the story is a bit too long so I just shortened it to Frankenstein since everyone knows the monster mainly as just Frankenstein. I'm glad you're enjoying the arc, DSkillz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DSkillz Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 I type fast and re-read and try to use more "past" tense but I'm use to just present tense. I write my matches in present tense, too, but that's not exactly what I mean by selectively using a different tense here and there. Essentially, if you're typing a story in present tense, you should maybe only use past tense in a flashback sequence within the story. Switching tenses back and forth within sentences makes it a little confusing to the reader. I'll give another example here. “Will you stand still!†Yelled Van Helsing while he attempted a neck slash toward Zorro, who ducked from the attack. Zorro laughed at his opponents frustration. Van Helsing can’t believe this, he was actually being toyed with by this acrobat Caped Crusader. Zorro kept Helsing at bay as he jabbed his sword forward in an attempt to thrust Van Helsing in his chest, The Monster killer blocked with one of his razors, clinging the tip point of Zorro’s blade between two sharp edges. You're improving, but the mix of present and past tense is still a bit uneven here. I'll just make some corrections here, and I'll show the corrections in bold. From a present tense perspective, it would probably read better like this: “Will you stand still!†yells Van Helsing as he attempts a neck slash toward Zorro, who ducks from the attack. Zorro laughs at his opponents frustration. Van Helsing can’t believe this, he is actually being toyed with by this acrobat Caped Crusader. Zorro keeps Helsing at bay as he jabs his sword forward in an attempt to thrust Van Helsing in his chest, The Monster killer blocks with one of his razors, clinging the tip point of Zorro’s blade between two sharp edges. While from a past tense perspective, it would probably read better this way: “Will you stand still!†Yelled Van Helsing while he attempted a neck slash toward Zorro, who ducked from the attack. Zorro laughed at his opponents frustration. Van Helsing couldn’t believe this, he was actually being toyed with by this acrobat Caped Crusader. Zorro kept Helsing at bay as he jabbed his sword forward in an attempt to thrust Van Helsing in his chest, The Monster killer blocked with one of his razors, clinging the tip point of Zorro’s blade between two sharp edges. All I'm trying to say here is that, whatever tense you're telling a sequence or story from, it reads better if you use verbs consistently within that tense. I know that the monster doesn't have a name and that Frankenstein is the maker of the monster. But the monster goes by "The Frankenstein Monster" so typing "The Frankenstein Monster" every time I write him in the story is a bit too long so I just shortened it to Frankenstein since everyone knows the monster mainly as just Frankenstein. My gripe was actually more with whoever submitted Frankstein's monster in the first place, but I can give some hints on this as well. You can use different synonyms to describe a person or thing within a story to help break up the monotony of just typing out that person or thing's name each time. For example, with Frankenstein's monster, you could switch up by alternatively calling him "the monster", "the creature", or "the abomination. I'm glad you're enjoying the arc, DSkillz. Yeah, too bad I haven't had the time to look up the people here so I can actually comment on who'd win. I've been trying to finish my entry for this month's challenge. Sorry about this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Callisto Posted January 18, 2013 Share Posted January 18, 2013 Match Final ResultsUSER RATINGS A Another person staying with thier story! Feel like I've got competition. leroypowell3 SCORE Anna Valerious and Gabriel Van Helsing and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: 18The Wolf Man and Dracula and Frankenstein: 4FPA: 4.0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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