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Match 18382 Penguin vs. Michigan J. Frog

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“Thank you so much for meeting me, Mr. Cobblepot, sir!”  Penguin sat at the desk in his office and looked bored at the balding man with the mustache.  The man glanced nervously around the room from Penguin to his bodyguards.  Jay, Lark, and Raven stood behind their boss, laser focused on the shabbily dressed visitor. 

“You have five minutes, my good man,” Penguin said.  “You were on the verge of making a scene in my establishment.  You should be grateful that I granted you this meeting at all.  Now, you say you have an act for the Iceberg?” 

The man adjusted something behind his back and fidgeted.  “Yes!  Er, that is, I do!  But I’m not the act!  But it’s an act that’s sure to draw crowds to your club.  Not that you don’t already draw crowds, but…” 

“4 minutes,” interrupted Lark smugly.  The man cleared his throat, looking away from Lark’s gaze.  “Well, you see, the act is a very unusual and surprising one.  And if you want, I can show you the act, and you’ll see why it’s sure to go over big here!  Er, if I could, please?”  Penguin rolled his eyes, leaned back in his armchair, and waved the man on.  “Proceed.  You have 3 minutes.” 

The man gingerly revealed the box that he’d been hiding behind his back.  He set it down on the desk in front of Penguin.  Jay, Lark, and Raven tensed up, instantly suspicious.  The man undid the latch on the box and lifted the lid.  Penguin and his bodyguards peeked into the box, not sure what to expect. 

Suddenly, a small, top hat poked out of the box, followed by a pair of eyes.  Everyone pulled back in surprise as a small green frog in a top hat hopped out of the box and landed with splat on the desk. 

“Yuck!  A frog?!” cried Lark. 

“That’s gross!” shouted Raven. 

“Aww!  He’s cute!” oohed Jay.  Lark and Raven stared at her in disbelief.  Jay looked back in confusion.  “Doesn’t he look cute?  With the little hat and all?” 

“I’m sorry, sir,” said Penguin.  “I have no interest in animal acts.” 

“But it isn’t an ordinary frog, Mr. Cobblepot!” the man said desperately.  “He can sing!  And dance!  He’s has the greatest voice you’ve ever heard!”  Lark and Raven rolled their eyes as Jay’s eyes widened.  Penguin looked at the frog, then back to the man.  “Well?  When is this amphibian supposed to start… singing?”  The man gestured to frog.  “Oh, he can do it right now!  Won’t you, buddy?  Come on!  Show Mr. Cobblepot what you got!” 

“Rrrribbit!”  the frog croaked.  Sweat glistened on the man’s brow.  “Come on, fella!  Do the one you did in my apartment!  ‘Hello, My Baby!’  Remember?  Sing it for Mr. Cobblepot!” 


Raven snickered.  “Maybe he’s got a man in his throat.”  Jay lightly shoved Raven’s arm.  “Maybe he’s just nervous!” 

The man had fallen to his knees in front of the desk.  He held up his hands pleading to the frog as it looked nonplussed back at him.  “Please!  Don’t do this again!  You’ve got to sing!  I know you can sing!  Please!”  The frog blinked at the man, then turned back to Penguin. 


Penguin glanced down at his pocket watch, then snapped it shut.  “You have officially run out of time, and I have run out of patience.  Lark?”  Before the man could react Lark and Raven were on either side of him with a hold on each arm.  They dragged the man out of the office through the door held open by Jay.  “Please, Mr. Cobblepot!  I’m not crazy!  He can sing!  Honest!  Please!  At least let me take him with me!  I beg you!  Please!” 

Penguin walked out the office leaving Jay to stand by the door.  Lark and Raven shoved the unfortunate man down the stairs, letting him tumble towards the crowded dance floor.  Penguin and his henchwomen looked on in approval as the man staggered for the door to the laugher of the club’s clientele. 

“We will need to do a better job of screening individuals who request conferences with me,” Penguin said as Lark and Raven escorted him up the stairs.   When they reached the office door, they say Jay was peeking through the keyhole.  “Jay, my dear?” said Penguin.  “What are you looking at?”  Jay stood up in surprise, then brushed herself off.  “I’m watching the frog dance on your desk, Mr. Cobblepot.” 

“Oh, please, Jay!” Raven scoffed.  “Frogs don’t dance!  That one looked like it could barely hop!”  Jay held a finger to her lips.  “Shh!  Not so loud!  Listen!”  Penguin, Lark, and Raven drew next to the door and listened.  Faintly they could hear the sound of a voice from inside the office. 

Hello, my baby!  Hello, my honey!

Hello, my ragtime gal!

Send me a kiss by wire!

Baby, my heart’s on fire!

If you refuse me, honey, you’ll lose me,

Then you’ll be left alone!

So, baby, telephone!  And tell me I’m your own!

Lark stared at Penguin in amazement.  “Who is that singing?” 

“It’s the frog!” Jay said.  “That’s why I told you!” 

“Bah!” said Penguin.  “This is all nonsense!  And I’ll settle this matter once and for all!” 

Penguin grabbed the handle and flung open the door.  To the shock of all, there on the Penguin’s desk, was the frog, now standing on it’s hindlegs and dancing.  He held a small cane which he twirled expertly as he sang again. 

Everybody do the Michigan Rag!

Everybody likes the Michigan Rag!

Every Mame, and Jane, and Ruth!

From Weehawken to Duluth!

Slide, glide, ride the Michigan!

Stomp, romp, pomp the Michigan!

Jump, clump, pump the Michigan Rag!

That lovin’ rag!

The frog tucked the cane under his arm and squatted down on the desk again.  His face now had the same dull expression as before.  Jay started to applaud only to be swatted by Raven.  “Will you knock that off?!” 

“But… he’s so talented!  Just like the man said he was!”  Penguin looked thoughtfully at the frog.  “You may be correct, Jay.  Perhaps our verdant vocalist can be of some use to us after all.”  Penguin took a step into the office.  Jay, Lark, and Raven followed after him, the frog’s gaze locked on them.  “Jay, my dear,” said Penguin.  “Seeing as how you have an affinity for our amphibian, would you kindly remove him from my desk?”  Jay gingerly walked toward the desk with her hand extended to the frog.  “Here, little guy.  Mr. Cobblepot wants to see you sing and dance some more!” 

The frog suddenly gave a mighty leap.  He soared over Jay and landed on top of Lark’s bowler hat.  “EWW!  Get it off!  Get it off!  Get it off!” she shrieked, waving her hands in panic as the frog clung to her hat.  Raven grabbed an umbrella from a stand.  She held it ready to swing at the frog.  “Just hold still, Lark.  One hit should knock ‘em loose!” 

“No!” shouted Jay.  She ran into Raven, causing her to swing wild with the umbrella.  The frog leapt off of Lark’s head just before the umbrella hit her.  She held her head with one hand and her dented bowler in the other as she glared at Raven.  “You idiot!  Hit the frog!  Not me!”  Raven pointed at Jay.  “It wasn’t my fault!  Jay shouldn’t have butted in!” 

“But you could of hurt him!” Jay pouted. 

“Enough!” Penguin barked.  “I pay you to be professionals!  I expect you to act accordingly!” 

The frog lazily hopped out the door and down the stairs.  “What are your orders, Mr. Cobblepot?” asked Lark as she repaired her bowler hat.  Penguin selected a new gimmicked umbrella and scowled at his henchwomen.  “My orders are to get that frog.  By any means necessary!  It must not leave the Iceberg!  Understood?” 

“Yes, Mr. Cobblepot!” the women chorused. 

With that, Penguin charged out of the office, Jay, Lark, and Raven right behind him. 



Michigan J. Frog needs to escape from the Iceberg Lounge. 

Penguin needs to catch him, dead or alive. 

He has Jay, Lark, and Raven.  All other street-level enforcers are guarding the doors and are on crowd control. 

Game On! 

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I like the Frog over the Penguin here. A gangster with a verbal tic hunting a looney toon? It screams classic Mel Blanc era. Penguin & co. are going to be looking worse for wear after this.

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I definitely feel like this would be something out of a Looney Tunes cartoon or something of that nature

Very entertaining and I'm leaning towards the Frog

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I like the match. I give the setup a 5.0.

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Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
4.90 - leroypowell3
4.70 - Boratz
5.00 - Venom 2009

FPA Calculation:
3 Total Votes cast
14.60 Total Combined Score
14.60 / 3 = 4.87 Final Rating on the match

Penguin: 1
Michigan J. Frog: 4

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Ack, I just missed this one, too. :( 

Another good all-Warner Bros. Looney Tunes/DCAU match-up, broadway. I would've kept with the consensus that Michigan would make his escape. 

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The guests of the Iceberg cried out in alarm and amusement as the small frog in the top hat lazily hopped across the dance floor.  He made one last leap to reach the bandstand where a jazz combo looked on in confusion.  The frog gave a sideways glance to the band, then leapt onto it’s hindlegs and began to strut across the stage. 

I’m just wild about Harry! 

And Harry’s wild about me! 

Oh, I’m just wild about Harry! 

And he’s just wild about,

Cannot do without,

He’s just wild about me!  

Jay, Lark, and Raven ran onto the stage and jumped onto the frog.  The audience laughed and applauded as the three ladies scrambled in the pile. 

“Get him!” shouted Lark. 

“Ow!  That’s me, you klutz!” snarled Raven. 

“Don’t hurt him!  Don’t hurt him!” begged Jay. 

Penguin climbed the stairs to the stage, his umbrella at the ready, eyes glaring at his fumbling henchwomen.  “Stop this foolishness and get me that frog!”  When Jay, Lark, and Raven had untangled themselves, they sat on the floor in bewilderment.  The frog had disappeared.    

“Well?” sneered Penguin.  “Where is that frog?”  The three women stood up, and looked at each other when suddenly they heard…


Lark glanced around the stage.  “Where did that come from?” 

“It sounded like it was coming from…” Raven’s voice trailed off as she stared at Lark’s bowler.  Lark’s eyes widened in fear as she looked up towards her hat.  “You mean… it’s under my hat?  It’s touching my hair?!” 

“Remain calm, Lark,” said Penguin as he took aim with his umbrella.  “Raven, slowly remove Lark’s hat.”  Raven walked behind Lark and took hold of the brim of the bowler.  Lark squeezed her eyes tight as Jay hid her face in her hands.  Raven lifted the hat off Lark’s head, but the frog wasn’t there.  Lark gingerly touched her head and breathed a sigh of relief.  “Oh!  I would have had warts on my head for the rest of my life!” 


Raven stood still and pointed at her head as she whispered to Penguin.  “Mr. Cobblepot!  I can hear it!  The frog’s under my hat!”  Penguin gestured to Lark, who gulped and reached over with one hand for Raven’s hat.  Jay peeked out from behind her hands to see the bowler lifted away to reveal no frog on Raven’s head.  Penguin tapped the umbrella on the stage in frustration.  “Where is this cursed creature?!” 


Penguin, Lark, and Raven slowly turned to face Jay.  She smiled sheepishly and waved.  “Hi, guys.”  Jay turned to run for the stairs but Lark and Raven bolted after her.  They grabbed Jay by both arms, lifted her up and carried her back to the stage to the hoots and whistles from the crowd. 

“Aww come one, guys!” Jay whined, her feet kicking in midair as she struggled to free herself.  “He’s just a cute little frog!”  Penguin pointed his umbrella right in Jay’s face.  “My child,” he said coldly.  “It is time for you to remember who is top bird around here.  Raven?  Lark?”  The bodyguards yanked away Jay’s bowler to reveal… nothing but her blonde hair. 


There was a murmur of anticipation from the patrons as Jay looked around in confusion.  “But… but I thought he really was under there!  Where is he?” 

“We shall find him without your ‘assistance’, Jay,” Penguin said.  “Of all the ridiculous things to be sentimental over; a common frog!”  Penguin stopped berating Jay at the sounds of stifled chuckles from the crowd.  His top hat was beginning to slowly rise off of his head, revealing a pair of green, webbed feet.  The hat was cast aside and revealed the frog, holding his own hat as he danced on Penguin’s head. 

Oh, I’m puttin’ on my top hat! 

Tyin’ up my white tie! 

Brushin’ off my tails! 

The crowd roared with approval as Penguin grabbed at the frog, only for him to leap through his fingers.  The mob boss picked up his umbrella and leapt off the stage after the frog onto the dance floor.  The frog continued to strut and dance, tipping his hat to the people.  Penguin ran in front of the frog and took aim with his umbrella.  “This little song and dance ends now, my little friend,” he sneered.  The frog regarded the gun barrel tip of the umbrella with an air of boredom, then brightened as he sang. 

There’s an old spinning wheel in the parlor. 

Spinning dreams of the long, long ago. 

The frog delivered a kick to the umbrella, which sent it spinning into the air.  Penguin watched spellbound, but snapped out of it to catch the umbrella, now with the gun barrel pointed at him.  Penguin smirked at the frog, leaning on his cane.  “A fruitless gesture, my amphibious trouble maker.”  Penguin pointed the gun barrel back the frog and moved to pull the trigger.  “NO!” cried Jay. 

Much to the surprise of Penguin, when he pulled the trigger of his umbrella, the gunshot didn’t fire out of the barrel.  It shot backwards out through the handle of the umbrella.  The force sent Penguin flying backwards into a table with his face covered in soot.  The Iceberg patron cheered and applauded as the frog bowed.  Then he started dancing his way to the entrance of the club. 




Any umbrellas, any umbrellas

To mend today? 

I’ll fix your umbrellas,

Then go on my way! 

Singing, toodle-uma-luma


Jay sighed as the frog disappeared out the door.  “Gee!  He really is a great singer!”  Raven rolled her eyes.  “Jay, you’re the only girl in Gotham who could fall in love with a frog!”  Lark ran over to the remnants of the table that Penguin had crashed through.  “Mr. Cobblepot!  Mr. Cobblepot, sir?  Can you hear me?  Say something!”  Penguin just stared up at the ceiling of his club and said one word. 


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