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Match 19500 Bee (The Babysitter) vs. Baby Firefly


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"Who will survive and what will be left of them?

Apocalyptic dreams see the ordinary madness,

Who will survive and what will be left of them?

I never lock the dogs when the wolf is in the darkness."

-          Real Solution #9, by White Zombie


Chapter 1. HeartCart.com

“What about you officer? How is your dating life?”

I asked the question honestly and bluntly, trying to put the emphasis on the pain that I was feeling inside and out. I mean, come on; I was covered in blood and bruises and looked like I’d just taken a tour through a ‘build-your-own’ abattoir, so the least of my worries was offending the wide-eyed cop in front of me.

He was not so easily flummoxed, and simply asked me to get on with the story.

So here it goes…

“It started with a dating app. A simple, new, and full of potential dating app. I was pretty much out of options via the normal means; bars, friends, classmates, work colleagues. I’d tried them all and, whilst some relationships may have seemed to lead somewhere, eventually they just collapsed.

Either it was from my side where I’d basically tired of the relationship, got drunk and done something stupid with someone else, or said something even stupider that there was no going back from. Or it was from her side, where she’d realised what a dipshit I was, had endured the heartbreak of my stupidity, or some other reason concocted out of thin air that had left me turning to the booze once again.

Whatever the scenario, enough was enough and HeartCart.com was the solution, or so I thought. It had been recommended to me by some stranger I’d chatted to in a bookshop. Yes, I still love bookshops and no, I can’t describe him because I really hadn’t paid attention and don’t remember anything about him. I’d been in the horror section as usual, and he had said something about those stories needing some more romance.

I’d been dumped two weeks before and was both lonely and fed up, so agreed wholeheartedly with him and that’s when he’d mentioned HeartCart.com – “Shop for a connection that lasts” he’d said with a laugh.

That night, after four beers and a half bottle of red, I was on the website and browsing for true love. I swiped left about a dozen times, rejecting the boring profiles which were probably exactly what I needed, and eventually fell asleep without a single swipe right.

I remember just thinking that this may be the end of the road for me.


Chapter 2. The Curse

“The next day I took a stroll.”

The officer looked at me and a heavy dose of scepticism that had infused his glare. I stared straight back at him. I tried to implant the “this is not bullshit” vibe into my next words but doubted that was possible.

“I took a stroll to the carnival. You know, the one that rocks up once a year for about a week. It has the usual games you expect but can never win no matter how hard you try, and the general vibe of weirdness. I went into the tent where they tell you your fortune, and no, just like with the stranger at the bookshop, I can’t tell you what it was called or much about what was inside. A lot of shit has happened between then and now, so God knows how I can remember even this much!

What I do remember is this. It was a dark room, there was a gorgeous lady with a low-cut top exposing a healthy portion of her pale white breasts, and she spouted some gypsy nonsense (which I half listened to) about my fortune. Eventually I told her that I was just fed up with looking for love and sex and excitement and just wished that a passionate and exciting woman would love me.

That was it. A passionate woman would love me. That was all I told her, and what she told me in return was to say some words before I went to bed that night so that I would find true love. I’ll never forget the words officer; they are burned into my brain like, I don’t know, please and thank you…

Klaatu barada nikto amare voluptas.

I remember laughing at the time, as I’m sure I remember those words from the Evil Dead films. I could be wrong and haven’t really had the time to check but I am a big fan of horror films, so am pretty sure I’m right.

That’s something to remember officer. I am a big fan of horror films. That may help you understand how I can explain, or at least tell you, about some of what happens next.

And remember those words, Klaatu barada nikto amare voluptas. No idea what is means, but it is what I said that night before I went to sleep. And most importantly, those words plus that god damn app, are what unleashed the nightmarish cluster-F the next day.”


Chapter 3. A College Morning

“I woke up that next morning to a notification on my phone. It was a happy sound, like the strumming of a harp and made me think of Paris in the summertime.

I picked up the phone, and this part is important officer, had thirteen new notifications from HeartCart. Thirteen matches that I don’t remember swiping right to, but there it was in clear black and white.

‘You have 13 matches of the heart,  

We bet you just can’t wait to start,

So go about your normal day,

And love will find you, today.’


The nice little poem had popped up in the app, but it wouldn’t let me progress any further. Just the poem. I tried various ways to dig a bit deeper to see who these mysterious matches were but nothing I did seemed to work. I guessed at first that it was going to ask me to pay an extortionate price to unlock my matches, but there wasn’t even anywhere to enter payment details.

I gave up and got myself ready for my psych classes at Cedarwood University.

The rest of the morning was pretty normal. I attended classes, and then had a mid-morning coffee with my friends, Ray and Clara, who were dating. At the back of my mind, I still kept thinking of the poem; “and love will find you, today”. Was it just some flaw in the app or was it actually a prediction.

I told Ray and Clara about the app, and we had a good laugh about it. Theirs was a strong relationship; they’d been dating for about four years, and I knew that there was a part of them that pitied my bad luck with the ladies. I’d always sensed they were a bit smug about it as well, but kept that to myself.

We were talking about our next classes, and that’s when things got weird.


The voice was beautiful and sensual. The very tones sent a little shiver down my spine.

I turned and was looking in the face of Megan Fox. My jaw dropped to the floor.

“Wha..” was about as much as I could muster.

“I’m Jennifer. I just had to come find you Sam.”

“Wha…” was my eloquent reply.

Megan/Jennfier sat next to me and put a perfect hand on my thigh.

“I’m so glad I found you Sam.”

Suddenly, something clicked in my brain as a memory fought its way to the surface. The countless hours watching horror movies in the early hours of the morning were coming back to me.


Megan Fox had played Jennifer Check in Jennifer’s body, where she’d been possessed by a demon called a succubus.

“Umm..” My replies were not getting any better.

Her hand was slowly travelling further up my thigh and I couldn’t tear my gaze away from her ruby red lips, making it really difficult to string two thoughts together let alone figure out what the hell was going on.

“I found you Sam”, she grinned a beautiful, evil, and hungry smile, “and now that I’ve found you, I can…”

Her words were cut short as her head EXPLODED in a shower of blood and gore. Bits flew everywhere, and her body slowly toppled over to reveal the head of a sledgehammer wielded by a smiling middle-aged maniac.


Chapter 4. Chaos on Campus

I remember the screaming.

I think Clara started it, clinging to Roy as they sat opposite me and Jennifer’s falling body. But it was soon picked up by others near us as they saw what had happened. There was no doubting this was real and not some elaborate hoax or prank show.

It was too realistic, too gory, too… raw.

The maniac who had wielded the sledgehammer was a middle-aged woman with dark raggedy hair. Her face and hair were now covered in blood, but her grin still shone through.

“Sam!” she said in a loud confident voice. “I’m so glad I found you before she could go any further. It’s like some fairytale love story out of one of Paul’s books, except I’m the saviour and we can finally have a happy ending together!”

Paul? Books?

Suddenly, through the sheer terror a lightbulb went on.

This was Annie Wilkes from the film Misery. Flashes of the movie came to my mind, including the infamous hobbling scene. But it wasn’t possible. The film had come out years ago, and this was Cathy Bates looking exactly like she did in the movie.

Oh my god, this was actually Annie!

 She dropped the sledgehammer to the floor and pulled out a large kitchen knife.

“You are happy to see me, aren’t you Sam?” she asked. Her voice was pleading and menacing at the same time, and I was frozen to the spot unable to move or say anything.

“WRONG, BITCH!” screamed a loud voice from just behind Annie.

We all turned to see another middle-aged woman with a large carving knife in her hand and I recognised the iconic figure.

Pamela Vorhees!

“Sam’s mine…all MINE!” said Annie and raised her knife.

The two women faced each other with simmering wrath in their eyes. They were about to explode into action when Roy shook my shoulder and nearly pulled me out of my chair.

He, Clara, and I took off running without looking back at the two crazed women, but I could hear their maniacal screams over the pounding sounds of my feet.


We ended up in the library; not through any choice but simply because it was a place familiar to us and we had run out of breath. The rows of books offered some welcome shelter, and we quickly crouched down between two tall stacks, panting heavily.

“OK, what the hell was that!” said Roy once he had recovered.

They both turned to me expectantly, as if somehow I would know what was going on.

“Don’t look at me! I don’t have any freaking idea.”

Clara grabbed my arm. “Megan Fox just sat down next to you and got her head bashed in and you are honestly saying you don’t know?”

“That wasn’t Megan Fox” I replied after a second. “That was Jennifer from Jennifer’s body. And the woman who killed her was Annie Wilkes from the film Misery. And Pamela Vorhees….”

I stopped.

We had all heard it.

A soft giggling. Very close by.

We turned slowly to see a little girl standing at the end of the row of books, her hands behind her back and a pleasant smile on her face. She had dark hair, in pigtails tied with a white ribbon.

“Hi Sam” she said, coquettishly as she gently rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet.

Roy turned to me with an eyebrow raised, but I’d already started putting the pieces together.

It was that goddamn app wasn’t it. Somehow it, along with those words I’d said, were sending horror characters after me. Specifically female horror characters with a penchant for murder and mayhem. This had to be a nightmare, and hopefully I’d wake up soon, but right now it felt very real and I had to play along.

“That’s not a little girl” I said quietly. “That is Esther Coleman from the film the Orphan. She looks 9 years old, but she’s actually a 33-year-old woman, and an absolute psychopath.”

We all turned back to the girl. Without moving a muscle, she had suddenly become a lot more dangerous. It was the eyes; they spoke volumes and there was no remorse or mercy to be found in those dark pools.

“I’m disappointed Sam. But I forgive you because I love you.” The pleasant smile was unnerving beyond belief, and it sent shivers through my body.

 “Let’s go!” shouted Clara and we turned towards the other end of the row of books away from the girl.

Roy quickly pulled ahead of us as we ran, when suddenly he came to a near perfect standstill.

Clara and I both stopped next to him, and Clara grabbed his arm.

“What’s going on baby, we need to run!”

A thin line of red appeared around his neck and he dropped to his knees, Clara dropping with him holding his arm and screaming.

The thin line quickly became a gushing torrent of blood as the wound in his jugular opened up. I was screaming now as well, staring down at my friend of 8 years as he bled out onto the floor of the library.

A piercing laugh echoed throughout the hallway, silencing Clara and I. We looked up to see a doll with blond hair and dark makeup standing in a space between the books. She had a long slender knife in her hand, dripping with Roy’s blood.

“Well, that’s one way to cut through the small talk isn’t it Sam?” said the doll, who then laughed again.

“Clara, we have to go” I said, grabbing her arm but not taking my eyes off Tiffany, the murderous psychopathic wife of Chucky the killer doll.

We heard footsteps and Esther appeared around the corner.

“Let me sort this out dear,” said Tiffany. “I’ve got some cutting remarks for this little brat.”

Tiffanny jumped down into Esther’s path and they faced each other. I picked Clara up, willing her limp sobbing body to find the strength to run. She did, and we ran away from the carnage and the body of my oldest friend.

Chapter 5. Ghosts & vampires & aliens, oh my!

I know you are looking at me like I’m crazy officer, but I promise you that every single word I’ve told you is exactly as it happened.

“Please just continue the story for the tape” he said.

I sighed, scratched my chin, and carried on.

“We fled from the library and into the Arts Hall. Paintings and sculptures flashed by us in a blur as we ran until our legs could no longer hold us up.

And immediately they were on us again.

From a small stairwell we heard an awful sound, a groaning grinding sound that sent fear through my body…

Kayoka Saeki! The awful, tormented spirit of a murdered Japanese woman. She appeared suddenly with disjointed movements as she rattled her death cry. She crawled on all fours like an animal, her dark hair mostly covering her face.

As she made a beeline straight for us, she was joined by another figure. Tall, elegant and all in black, with a veil covering her face, she glided across the floor towards us. The lights flickered in the hall as she did. She was Jennet Humfrye, the legendary Woman in Black.

It took only a few seconds for the two spirits to notice each other, and they reluctantly slowed down. Evil and menace grew in the air and terror sucked the oxygen right out of my lungs. The pain and suffering that each of these women had experienced was beyond comprehension, and I was fortunate that in that split second their attention was no longer focused exclusively on me.

Suddenly they were flung back, dissipating into thin mists as a third figure appeared out of thin air.

The newcomer was wrapped in thin bandages, with tattoos on her face and I knew in that moment that I was royally f*cked.

Ahmanet, the ancient Egyptian princess, now a powerful mummy, had arrived. Her power beat upon the air around us.

Having dealt with the two spirits, she slowly turned towards us.

Clara, still by my side, was picked up and every bone in her body was crushed. Her neck was bent all the way back so it was facing me, and I couldn’t even find a way to scream in horror.

Ahmanet started towards me, a crazy look in her eyes. Part love, part torment, and all insane. I remember from the movie that she had once been an evil princess, but that the centuries of being trapped had driven her completely over the edge.

But then she stopped, and slowly turned as we all felt a new power beating in the air. It was heavy, strong, and full of untapped potential.

I remembered the awful text message that had started this day of madness, and I quickly did a count in my head, Jennifer, Annie, Pamela, Esther, Tiffany, Kayoka, Jennet, and Ahmanet, that made 8. The text had said I had 13 matches, so with the three new arrivals that mean that all but 2 of the matches had made their presence known to me.

The three women were obviously here for me but, without a word spoken, had banded together against the biggest threat there was – Ahmanet.

Carrie White, the tormented teenager whose psychic abilities had destroyed an entire town. Queen Akasha, the vampire from Queen of the Damned whose every step spoke of grace and power. And Sil, the dreaded alien from the Species series, beauty and deadliness combined in one. I was glad it was her human form rather than the reptilian one that stood before me.

They faced Ahmanet with fury in their eyes, and the Egyptian princess met their stares unflinchingly.

Then my world exploded in a storm of telekinesis, fire, sand, magic and screams and I was flung out of the Art school.

Chapter 6. Aftermath

And that’s how I ended up here officer.

I heard that the University had burned down and that there had been numerous deaths. But I’ve told you every bit of the story as best I can.

The officer sighed and said, “interview terminated at 21 hours 42 minutes” and clicked the machine that had been recording me.

“It’s not looking good Sam” he said, and I could almost see some pity in his eyes.

As he stood outside the door, I heard him talking to his colleague.

“It’s just the craziest story I’ve ever heard. Monsters, ghosts, a haunted dating app…. The girl is completely nuts and is definitely heading to the loony bin. God only knows how she caused so much devastation.”

I lowered my hands to my lap, and the tears started flowing down my face as I thought of Roy and Clara. Was I crazy? I had to be, hadn’t I?

Then I heard a gurgling sound, and the police officer staggered back into the room. There was a long dagger sticking out of this neck and his eyes were wide.

He dropped to his knees, then toppled forward onto his face.

A beautiful young woman with long blond hair walked into the room. Her petite nose and big eyes lit up as she saw me.

“Sam! Finally! It’s been quite an adventure finding you.”

Bee, the deadly crazy satanist from the Babysitter series stood before me in a white shirt, figure hugging jeans and leather coat. She came to my side of the table and leaned over me, her hair brushing against the back of my hand – and despite all the violence and gore of the day, I had to say it was a bit of a turn-on looking into her beautiful eyes.

Then we heard the thunder of gunshots ringing out and a crazy laugh that was instantly recognisable. I saw a policeman fly past the door, his chest open and bleeding and then a silhouette stood in the doorway.

Another beautiful blonde, her wavy hair under a dusty hat and a large pistol in her hand. The absolutely insane Baby Firefly of the horrific Firefly family.

“Well look at what we have here!” she said in a high-pitched voice. “If I didn’t know any better Sam, I would have said you were gearing up for a threesome. Sorry doll, not today!”

She pointed the pistol at Bee and pulled the trigger, but an empty click was all that sounded.

Baby looked at the gun in disappointment, and then pulled a large hunting knife from behind her back. Her smile grew even wider.

“Well, we’re gonna have to do this the old fashioned way. Imma gonna cut your t*ts off.”

Bee just smirked back at Baby Firefly, and pulled the dagger from the dead officer’s neck.

“Whatever you say.”

And as I sat there, the two beautiful blondes tore into each other like lionesses defending their cubs. Blades flashed, and blood flowed, and I couldn’t help but think to myself that there had to be an easier way to get a date.

The End.

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Hello :) 

I can tell you're an experienced writer too.  This is a great write up; the premise is really interesting and different, the writing is great, nicely tinged with horror.  Also, queer character, nice.  I didn't think the female horror characters were queer, but I suppose its all due to the mysterious magic of the dating app.  The dating app did materialize them for Sam.

However, this is a debut character challenge and the characters actually battling barely have any screen time.  I haven't watched the movies/shows these characters are in and aside from the brief descriptions I don't know anything about them.  I wish you would have focused on them more and expanded on their characters and abilities more, because they feel like side notes thrown in at the end.  Also, this is a bit particular but Sam is telling a cop this story?  There was a handful of like jarring spots because some of the things she said are just not things someone would actually say out loud.  Think them, definitely.  Say them out loud?  Nah.  Though that's the only negative thing I can say about the writing quality which isn't major its still very good.

This is a great write up I enjoyed it a lot, but I don't think it's a good fit for this particular challenge.  

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Another great set-up and entry, Culwych! You sure know how to craft your stories in a lot of different styles. The only minor nitpick I have, as MistressOfWords mentioned, is not seeing quite enough story from the featured combatants. 

As for the match, while I haven't seen any of the films Bee or Baby were in, with some quick research, it looks like Bee has the edge. She's apparently immortal and can use a Satanic Bible to grant her extra powers. 

BTW, Baby may need a change for her profile pic. It's pretty blurry and I thought she was Maria Bello at first (though to be fair, Mrs. Zombie has a very similar look to Bello, aside from the height difference). 

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Hey great write up, I really enjoyed this one. 

My only thing to nitpik here is the form factor of the story. It seems like it was written as a script and then changed into a story, but the remnants of the script are still there. Sometimes the way she talks seems odd when thinking if they would a actually say something like that. There was only a handful of spelling errors and grammatical mistakes. Spelling Jennifer's name wrong in one line is what throws me off a bit here. 

I would have like to know more about these charactera through the story as well, as it stands I'm not really sure who Bee is. 

4.4 / 5 - The story drew me in, but the structure did seem a bit odd. Loved the beginning quote and how it goes with the story as well.

I can't vote on this one yet.

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Match Final Results

Member Ratings:
4.00 - broadwaybeyonder
4.70 - Boratz
4.80 - DSkillz
4.20 - MistressOfWords
4.40 - Pizzaguy2995
4.40 - IKA

FPA Calculation:
6 Total Votes cast
26.50 Total Combined Score
26.50 / 6 = 4.42 Final Rating on the match

Bee (The Babysitter): 2
Baby Firefly: 1

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