Match 6089 The Nostalgia Critic vs. Pennywise

[Guest callisto]

In a bathtub filled with red liquid lies the Nostalgia Critic, the words "baloons" scribbled in the shower walls."Oh my God, Critic, no! It can't be! What happened to you? THIS ISN'T POSSIBLE!" says the Other Guy in distress."Not so loud! Ohhh, my head!" says the Critic as he slowly stands up."Critic, you aren't dead! Thank Santa Christ!" says the Other Guy"No, why would I be dead?" says the Nostalgia Critic"What happened to you?" says the Other Guy"Well, I was doing the "It" review, and I decided to play the Stephen King Drinking Game-" says the Nostalgia Critic"Critic, you should know better! That game has been known to put people into comas!" says the Other Guy"-and by the end of it I was so wasted than I couldn't even stand. I tried to get back to lucidity by making myself a bacon and ketchup sandwhich while on the shower, and I passed out." says the Nostalgia Critic"Well, you better get to bed. We still have to prepare the "Leprechaun" review. I hear Cinema Snob wants to use footage from "Troll 2" and "Hogoblins." says the Other Guy---------------------------------That night, the Nostalgia Critic enters his room, and is ready to go to bed, when he is confronted by Stephen King."And why are you here?" says the Nostalgia Critic"I heard you don't like my stories. I heard you mocked my stories with a drinking game. I heard you thought I'm repetitive and untalented." says Stephen King"You are! You are the most overrated author I've ever read! "Master of horror", my ass! Edgar Allan Poe, H.P. Lovecraft, Bram Stoker and Clive Barker, those are the real masters! You are nothing but a pathethic hack, literary junk food for the ignorant masses!" says the Nostalgia Critic"Oh, is that what you think? Maybe you'll change your mind once you...FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!"Thus, the figure of Stephen King morphs and shifts until it turns into the familiar form of Pennywise, the Spider itself."No! It's you!" says the Nostalgia Critic"That's right, it's me! And I brought a few friends along!" says Pennywise.Using his eldritch powers, Pennywise summons several other Stephen King villains, who all looks at the Nostalgia Critic with the rage of a pack of rabid wolves"Let me and my friends show you what true horror looks like, Critic!" says Pennywise"I don't think so! I'm not afraid of you! I'm not afraid of any of you! You are gonna leave my house, whether you like it or not!" says the Nostalgia Critic as he grabs his trademark handgun.So, it's the Nostalgia CriticVSPennywise (the Spider from "It"), Randall Flagg (from "The Stand" and "The Dark Tower"), the aliens from "Dreamcatcher", the Children of the Corn, Cujo, Carrie White, Annie Wilkes (from "Misery"), The Mist, Jack Torrance (from "The Shining"), the rats from "Graveyard Shift", the demon from "Sometimes They Come Back", The Low Men in Yellow Coats, Morgan Sloat (from "The Talisman"), the vampires from "Salem's Lot", Reverend Lester Lowe (from "Cycle of the Werewolf") and Leland Gaunt (from "Needful Things")So, who wins this?

[Movie-Brat]

Unless Pennywise brings in The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, he survives. He survived worse.